I completely agree that breastfeeding causes fissures due to low estrogen. It prevents normal healing and makes you constipated. I often wonder if people think their fissures are from labor but they are actually from the aftermath. I wish they would tell you about fissures in breastfeeding classes! If I had known my life could be ruined because I didnt take miralax after birth then I would've been more proactive :)

Exactly! We all could have tried to use preventative measures!

So today had a relatively calm BM with only a little pain (huge difference) but by lunchtime the spasms have caused me so much pain I can't function.

First bottle was given last night. I cried and cried. Chucked a mega tantrum and declared hubby was not allowed to feed the baby as I didn't want him to bond with her. (I hate how being i pain makes me mean!)

Not coping I don't understand how I'm supposed to be happy and a fun young new mum when I cannot even function until 3pm at the earliest?! I have no idea how I would have gone if I was still working - surely would have lost my job.
My anger is ridiculous and I'm finding it hard to keep under control. It's breaking my family apart.

I know it sounds ridiculously trite, but when I'm feeling really low I try to remember the phrase, "This too shall pass." Each week your pain will be a little less, and you'll feel a little better about everything. I wasn't able to nurse my babies. I remember how frustrated and angry I was. I felt like a total failure as a mother. Once I accepted the situation and realized my baby girl was healthy - which is the most important thing - with the bottle, I was able to relax and enjoy my baby and motherhood. Everything will be better once your healing starts and you get past the most painful stage. This part doesn't last forever. I promise!!

You might consider LIS. It can take you out of pain and allow you to continue nursing. I know it's a tough call but I really wish I had done it sooner.

Hi PainedSA,
Do try and get some help with dealing with your anger and depression. Both feelings are totally natural, but you CAN get help, and it absolutely does not mean you are a failure or a bad mother or anything else you may be telling yourself. You have a tiny baby and you are in constant pain - of course you have bad feelings. Please don't rule out that you may have post partum depression on top of it all.

There are medications to deal with anxiety and stress, and ask your doctor for counseling too. You have a husband and a baby, and it's crucially important to keep your little family together. You will weather this storm, but don't be ashamed to ask for professional help. That's what the pros are for. They've seen it all. With some help and a sympathetic ear, you will feel better.

And mmklinemm is right - your pain will improve too. It may take a long time, it will feel like forever, but little by little you will improve, and one day you'll look back on all this as a memory - a horrible memory, but in the past. I promise you this does not last forever. Get some help to get you through the worst weeks, because your baby's well-being depends on you.

If your husband wants to help, let him. You need him! Also, he needs to bond with baby too. Letting him give the bottle sometimes will not take away anything from you as a mother. Sharing this task can be the sweetest form of bonding. Involve him as much as possible, because he can take some of the pressure off you when you are dealing with pain.

I wish I could give you a big hug. Please look after yourself. It's great that you are coming to this forum and letting your feelings out.
Please tell your doctor about your state of mind. I really really hope you start to feel better soon.

Thank you all - scientist you made me cry <3

I have spoken to mum and dad about how I'm feeling and we all think i should go talk to my doc so that wi be happening soon.

Today I am off to buy some Movical (has anyone used this before?) - I cannot get my stools soft even with the following methods -

Lactulose
Prune juice
Prunes morning and night
Colacyl softeners
And at a min 5 litres lf water a day.

I assume my BF is sucking all my water up? Anyway this will probably be a last ditch effort for soft stools before I start to feel I have to give up BF completely to get them. God I hope this works coz there's no way my fissure can even attempt to heal with the semi hard stools in having (probably a 3 on the Bristol scale - I would like a 5 preferably!)

I'm so glad you've been able to talk to your parents about this, and that you'll be seeing a doctor. Maybe your mum could go with you to the doctor?


Movical is the same as miralax, which a lot of people on this forum use, and which they swear by. It should help a lot. It should draw water into your intestines.
I think breast feeding dehydrates you like crazy, but you are drinking a lot of water, so I don't know. Do you pee a lot? pardon me for asking!

Good luck! Let us know how you get on!