thinking of you and when it's all just a memory for you.

Thankyou Sav.... One day........................

Oh Gee, just catching up a bit and SO sorry to read your updates and feel your pain right now.......You have been through so much and I truly hope, that as awful as this all feels right now, that this is just part of the healing process for you and you will turn a corner sometime soon. It's great that you are rescheduled with Dr. W. You must be so desperate to see him for some reassurance if anything.....Your family sound wonderful and you have some great support there. I hope the back to routine thing is not causing you too many major issues. You have such a strong spirit OMB and you are truly inspirational....don't give up and hang on to all your strength. One day, things will be so much better than this for you, I just feel it. Hang in there lovely and sending you more supportive hugs xxxx

Oh thankyou ETO.... Need those hugs today.

So.... Nothing has changed. Still have a red raw patch just at opening. It is still excruciatingly painful if I do anything other than lie down.
Took my son to his club this morning for the first time since the flap.... And oh my god..... I couldn't concentrate on what anyone was saying to me, the pain was all consuming. I've had my ups and downs the last few years, but this takes the podium for most excruciating club session ever... And I've been there after the Botox etc.... Not nice at all!

Maybe it's time o bring out the big guns and get some stronger pain killers?? I don't know.... 600 mg of ibuprofen just isn't touching it any more.

ARG!!

.....Oh Sweetie x It must be just horrendous right now for having to deal with all this. My heart goes out to you........
I do appreciate that awful feeling of just not being able to focus on anything or anyone because it all hurts so much. I honestly think, if you can get through these awful times, you will feel so much better mentally when things are less painful. It's a horrible place to be right now for you and I'm sure it can't get any worse than it is right now, it can only get better. I would chat to your GP about pain relief and trying something stronger right now because it will help you cope. At times like these, I always feel the need to mention Diazepam (Valium) when you just need a break! It is the one and only thing I have ever taken in my life (in desperate dark hours) that just relieves you magically of all that pain, anxiety and stress for a good few hours. It gives you a well-deserved break from it all and moments of calm, which used to help set me back on track mentally and help inject new strength and optimism into my mind & body!!.......Although very addictive, it does what it is designed to do and it might just help you - A good GP will prescribe it liberally and keep an eye on you. I can only think it might help you through right now but of course, it's up to you.......When you seem to have exhausted all other options, it might be something to think about temporarily or at least to discuss with your GP?? Oh, I so hope things get better for you soon, I really do.....Take care lovely & try to keep yourself distracted and as comfortable as you can because it helps a bit as you know xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thankyou for you words of comfort, as ever, lovely ETO.

I actually have a small stash of diazepam ... I use it for dental treatment..... I may discuss taking one with my gp Monday.
God.... I'll take a route canal with wisdom tooth extraction over this anytime!!!!

So sorry for you, OMB that you are in such wretched pain. Just doesn't seem bloody fair!! I hope that you can spend a lot of time lying down (easy for me to say as don't have children at home). The biggest hug to you and hope you can get some joy with a decent painkiller to take the edge off. I take 0.5mg Lorazepam every night to sleep, as if I could not at least get that time I would be a complete basket case. I have been taking them for a few years, but don't think your GP will be happy to give too many, though this is an emergency as you need ALL your strength to deal with things.

Thinking of you and hoping each day I read your diary that thing will be better. It'll come, but easy to say that now when you are going through it xxxxxx

Savaici, Have you found that you developed a tolerance to taking Lorazepam every night? I too take that amount every night and wonder if it is really helping anymore, other than psychologically...

You have a doctor that is okay with this?

Works fine for me, msimon. for asking!

The tears coming off your sad smiley faces are well..so sad. I am in good space right now but have been there so many times. Sending a hug. I just hate the pain these stupid fissures cause to people. Pull out the big guns - whatever it takes for some relief. Thinking of you tonight.