Oh wee racheal im feeling ur pain like hopefulbut i feel the new ripping burning on opposite side frm my old fissure. Agony sliceing stabing pain when having a bm. I hate myself i want to pull my own face off!! Im going to try and call crs tomoro for private appointment. How can u get another fissure when i keep my poo so soft?? Oh rach i hope ur feeling better love , i will b thinking and praying for us all. Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh puzzledbutt so sorry to hear about your retaear. I understand. Even soft poo can't stop a too tight sphincter. I pray you get some healing quick too.

Thankyou so much everyone... I love you all.

Buttastic those words are empowering. I wish I knew when it will all end. I am getting pretty low again, and dreading my BMs in the morning, which is making me more anxious.... I went back to the doc yesterday and she advised me to take the ADs again. Not sure if I am going to yet. My appointment has come through to see the CRS, it is on the 13th January. This new doctor said that when the CRS wrote to my doctor he stated that he didn't want to do LIS because of the incontinent risks but has mentioned Advancement flap. I don't want to have more Botox now as I just don't think it will work. I am going to do my research and go in armed with loads of questions about each surgery and which one I can have if I can't have LIS. Otherwise he will be getting a shotgun held to his head! Lol. I love your Santa hat B.T.

Puzzled and Hopeful, I am so sorry you both have problems again. I just think the Botox hasn't worked for any of us unfortunately. Get to the CRS ASAP and see if you can get more treatment. Praying for all of us, my lovely friends.....

How ya doing sweetie???

Xxxxxxxxx

Hi OMB,
I am okay. Feeling a tad tired due to waking up around 5am every day due to being anxious about BM. I am really sore and I am really uncomfortable sitting. If I have small 4's not too bad, today I did then I had the annoying bit at the end that is runnier and this causes a problem! Just need a new body, I will trade for anything right now, even a man. At least then I could have LIS! Ugh XXXXXXX

HI PIA, THANKYOU XXXXXXX

How r u doing Rachael?? Have you started those ADs yet?? I remember waking early all anxious and tearful, knowing that I would have to go ..... It's not nice. When I started my ads I wasn't so anxious, and I could sleep heaps better.

Huge hugs
OMB x

Hi OMB,
I haven't started on them again.... I am seeing at the moment if I can cope without them. I was having a good run, some quite good days, then yesterday I had pain again, horrible throbbing and soreness at 70clock. I want to get off this roller coaster. The annoying thing is my BMs are okay, so I think I have a tight anal sphincter muscle maybe!? God knows but I really want this to end... Hope you are doing okay xxxxx hugs.

I'm glad to hear your managing without them.... Your a tough cookie!!
It's always a relief to have a few good days.... A small bit of respite.... I hope things pick up again and you have a whole lot more!

Keep fighting the monsters!!

Exactly what owmybum said! Hang in there!!