Day 14,

not as bad as yesterday. BM still painful but not excruciating :) hurts a bit to walk around - I wish my bum would decide what it's doing.

It takes time, FF - hang in there! I wish you a pain-free weekend, my dear.

thanks Scientist, I just get so worked up! and tomorrow I have to face a 3 hour coach journey to Birmingham (arranged last year sadly and I can't get out of it!!) Absolutely dreading it.

If you bring a soft cushion it may help. I found that having something squishy to sit on was helpful, not just to pad the seat, but also to alter my sitting position a bit. So when one position gets too painful, move the cushion to relieve that part, and put pressure in a different place. Not sure if I'm making sense here, but when we did a road trip in the middle of my fissure madness, that cushion was a friend indeed.

I made it back alive!!! Going to the loo in the hotel was bad, I'm STILL bleeding!! just got home and I went to stand up, felt a ripping feeling out of the blue and now it's gone. on the plus side BMs are feeling a bit easier but that one random twang of pain just reminded me I still very much am afflicted by this horrible thing.

You did it! That's great that you made it FF. Sorry to hear the suffering continues. These things heal at a snails' pace, and stress is terrible for making that worse. Hopefully now you can relax more and get some more healing behind you.

Thanks MS, the concert was amazing :) So glad I made it. the pain really caught me out standing up, I was having quite a good day otherwise!! Not sure what made it happen.

Update 22:30 - Whatever caused that twang of pain has sent me to bed. Got a hot water bottle under me to try to help but I don't understand why I'm in pain like this!

I've lost track of the days! hold on... Day 17?

still a bit of pain when going to the loo but nothing in comparison to before Botox. I am worrying however the reduced pain is only the botox doing this and when it wears off I tear and go back to stage 1!? Still bleeding on the stools too which is a bit concerning - is this normal to have over 2 weeks post op?

Day 18

I feel so so down. Still bleeding, still sore but not as bad as pre op but I think it's all finally got to me - I really can't see an end to this and it's going to be a niggling pain down there all the time.

It's not bad enough for lis but it's just constant. Resting pain is only a 2/10 but if I stand up the wrong way it shoots up to a 9.
How am I still bleeding?! Is this linked to my pain? God only knows.

I'm now on anti depressants but they won't make me any better.

J

FF I am so sorry that things seem to be going very badly right now. All I can do encourage you on and say that you had a lot done and it will take a good while to turn the corner on this. A lot of people have relief right away after LIS or when the botox kicks in but there are many of us that don't. I think these people (myself included) will feel improvement once some appreciable healing has occurred and given how much you had done this could take a while. Is the blood lessening at least? Can you tell where you are bleeding from?

I am glad you have done something to address the mental health issues these awful things cause. I wasn't able to stomach antidepressants or I would be on them too.

"still sore but not as bad as pre op" I know it's hard but you have to cling to this. It can be so so slow. Like the wise people on this forum say it's best to measure your progress in weeks, not days. Then months. I have had to do this as my recovery has been agonizingly slow. My LIS was 6 months ago now and I can still hardly get around. But if I think back really hard I can see that things are better than they were then, so that's all I can do. Hang in there FF. You are not alone in this. If it doesn't get better, there is always LIS, and you can at least then say you tried everything to avoid surgery.