Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I was very sad and you really made me feel better. I have random days off so today is one of them and then I'm not off again till Tuesday. I called the appointment center back and told them I had to be seen immediately. They called back several hours later and said they could see me on the 30th! Thank heavens! I'm taking really warm sitz baths and I'll use a hearing pad tonight. I have this one hemorrhoid that hurts so badly. It won't go away. The others disappear on and off but this one just stays. I wonder if the sitz bath (when you sit on the toilet) is not good for it, and if I should sit in the bathtub instead? I melt coconut oil in the water. Makes my skin feel nice :) . It's weird that even though my BM aren't super painful, my fear of passing stool has returned. Hopefully I can get over that soon because if I have to go while I'm at work that will suck! Anyway... On a positive note, after reading your reply, I felt happier and went out with my family to the fair. It was fun! Hot and packed full of people but my son had a great time! I hope you enjoyed your day today too:)

Thanks! I actually had a rather rough day. My physio was very aggressive and flared me up pretty bad

I'm so glad to be able to help! That's great that you got out anyway. I really struggle with pushing myself to do fun things again. Good for you!

I don't care for the idea of a sitz bath myself. I never tried one but when I had an open wound down there, as well as swollen hemmies, I found the sitz bath to put too much pressure on the area. Kind of like sitting too long on the toilet, which is supposed to be a bad thing for hemmies. I prefer a full bath. It's more fuss and less economical but I have to do what I have to do. Everyone is different....

That's great that you got in sooner to see your Doctor. Is this a CRS? Same one you saw before?

Oh no! Sorry to hear that
After my long day yesterday I feel like I'm worse today. Haha.. We can never win.
I'm seeing a new doctor. He's a general surgeon. I'm thinking of asking him if he might do an infrared coagulation or banding on this hemmie of mine. I've also been contemplating Botox for the fissure healing, but since it just makes things worse, for some, I'm not too sure about it. Everything is scary when it comes to our butts now that I know how delicate they are (and painful!!) my new fissure pain is getting worse. I'm at work right now until 9pm and all I want to do right now is sit in a hot bath and lay down.

Well here I am again... This time it's not the apple cider vinager a fault... Actually I'm not sure what caused it this time. The beginning part of my stool was "harder" then the rest of my stool (being perfect texture)... But all it took was that beginning part and I ripped my A$$ right open again! But this time this fissure is actually hurting a lot...just like the first original one I had back in April. Except this fissure is NEW! It's in a completely new spot. I want to say that it might be right around all my external hemmies and maybe the skin is too thin there that it tore? I don't know but I can actually see the fissure when I look with a mirror, and I hate it and I want it to go away. It's in the one O clock position...(closest to my vagina, not my spine)... Hopefully with sitz baths I will heal or at least feel better in the next few days (I'm hoping)... I can hardly bare the pain at work. It happened this morning during my morning BM and I just had another one and it hurt pretty bad, esp afterwards. It felt like when I was having my BM, my anus was ripping open more and more!! I hope it's not eiping more. I'm so curious as to why I'm getting all these different cuts on my anus, if it's due to my hemmies or what? Ugh, I'm so tired of this. I take miralax every day. I just don't know how to prevent these anymore. I don't understand why I have an entirly new tear. Makes me cry.

So sorry to hear it! I had a sharp feeling on my BM today too. Can never see what it is coming from though. And this is after LIS and being told I am healed. I think, for me, it's my pelvic floor and/or external sphincter (seeing as I had an LIS). It is so disheartening, I know. I don't understand it either. Just wanted to give you a hug and tell you that you are not alone in this. What a mystery this all is! I hope you heal quickly.

Are you still breastfeeding?

Thank you Msimon, I've read other replies you've left On other posts and your such a kind hearted person & you always make me feel emotionally better since you know exactly how I feel.
Yes I'm still breastfeeding. She just turned 5 months old on the 3rd. So only 7more months to go haha(unless she self weans sooner). I'm still taking miralax. Had a BM this morning, then after lunch(while working which was NOT fun) and then I asked my manager of I could go home. So when I got home, I went to the bathroom again!! Then I bathed in coconut oil. Then I shave my legs cos the coconut oil makes them feel like a baby's butt! Lol.. Anywho.. I work tomorrow.. I'm thinking of calling in sick to help myself recover. Hopefully it's worth it and I do heal quickly :/. I'm feeling sore around the area. Hoping it will feel less sore tomorrow.

Aww. geez. Thanks for your kind words :) I asked about breastfeeding because there have been others on here that have found a link between our lovely female hormones and their fissures worsening (or starting). I don't know the precise relationship as I have not had kids but I, as well as Scientist, seemed to have finally healed with the use of a topical estrogen cream applied to the area daily for a couple months. Just wondering it it may help you too...
Sorry to hear about the pain you are going through. I hope you can get some good healing time.

Oh, and here is another instance:

fissures-and-breastfeeding-t9818.html

Not to get too excited but this morning I had a pain mess BM but then lots of itching about an hour later. I applied coconut oil and my nifedipine and then the itchiness went away. I did apply Vaseline before going so maybe that helped. I have noticed that my hemmie is back! Gurr... It's almost like whatever causes my fissures also causes my hemmies to act up. they both are horrible to have but the fissure pain is a lot more unbearable than the hemmies. Well if I end up having another BM today, I just hope it's another pain free one! Fingers crossed!!

Here's another update...so far so good. I have stopped using the nifedipine but I am still using my coconut oil suppositories when I have itching because it takes the itch away. Something that I've noticed now though, is that my external hemmies have multiplied! So many purple looking non painful slightly internal bumps! I have two skin tags and then I have two bulges by them. When I look in a mirror and "push", My bum is basically disgusting looking. (To me). I'm also afraid to have sex with my husband because I've read that some peoples hemmies got worse from it :/ anyway, I'm just thankful they aren't painful. I still continue to squat when I have a BM. I use tucks sometimes. Still take miralax every night and I'm drinking about 90oz of water a day. I have started eating sweets again but I still keep my diet pretty clean. I just wish my butt would go back to normal (don't we all)

I know what you mean by wishing things would just go back to normal! I also know what you mean about the fear of intercourse. Been there. Wish I could say either way. I had a lot of other things going on at the time that may have contributed to mine worsening. Stress is a big one! Glad to hear of your progress though. Hopefully in time things will continue to improve more and more. It can be soooooo slow, I know!