I'm sorry. I would rather not be here enduring this suffering and grief that I have and bestowed upon my family and girlfriend. It's no way to live.
I'm taking my antidepressants now. I need to take baby steps. a clear my mind.
I can't imagine moving across the country let alone overseas right now.. Impossible. And having children to deal with would be even more difficult. Bless u good luck. I haven't been getting much sleep either in the last 4 months. Up multiple times a night.
Yes I need to find the right doctor. The waiting and uncertainty is unbareable.