Thank you all :)
An anal ulcer is a very bad chronic fissure. It has become so wide and deep that it is no more a cut but more like an ulcer.
I went to an new county Corsica. It was not at S.hospital. I am feed up of the CRS there.
I only hope that it is not to late for me. Should have done this months ago/half a year ago.
Waiting to get the date in the mail. The CRS needed paper from the hospital where I had the fistula operation years ago. He wanted to know what they had done before he does the surgury.. I hope all pray for me :)
I am so feed up that sometimes I just want to die :( This has to stop. I wanna live again :)

So sorry for you Lars, mail me if you want to (can be difficult with this English..). I do understand your feeling as I had a meltdown myself yesterday, but Lars this will stop - eventually. Remember that in a long life this is just a short period of time. You are still a young boy....
Have you told your friend and family about this? It is important to have someone to speak to...therapy?
Corsica/Emmeline

Lars - I am sure your new CRS will help you ! He obviously knows what he is talking about ! Don't worry about the size - even biggest fissures can heal when conditions are right. I read that after correct
LIS is done even Crohn patients with open ulcers have NO symptoms ! So, keep up positive thoughts Lars - you are young and your body will heal - I am sure of it !!!! Most important - you found good doctor and he is sure he will fix you !!!!!
Best of luck buddy !!!!

I hope your appointment comes round quickly Lars...
Sending you a big hug

Lars,
We're all pulling for you. You are young and you will be able to heal.
Cheryl

Don't give up! We've all felt that way so we understand how you feel. You have every reason to believe that this operation will fix you up after you heal from it. Glad that you found a doctor who is willing to work with you.

lars - i'm glad you've found someone willing to give you the help you need. i hope LIS can finally cure you. i know how horrible it is to be so young and in constant pain. people our age just can't understand anything like this. i've also wanted to die so many times in the last 2 years. you just have to find little things to hold onto to get you through it...and keep trying til you find the dr that finally helps you! good luck w/ the surgery!

Nobody of any age can understand this kind of pain and people of all ages "want to die" when suffer from chronic pain. Lars - you are not exception buddy - it is normal to feel down when in so much pain : (((, depression ALWAYS follows long term suffering. BUT - you will be pain free so SOON - only 3 more weeks buddy !!!! If you need some meds to "pick you up" and help you along - please don't feel like you are week or something if you ask for help - MANY members here had to use something to
just keep sane in all of this madness !!!
You will be pain free soon Lars - I can't wait for your happy posts in couple of weeks !!!

Lars, I'm so glad that you've finally found a good doctor and he will do the LIS - it will be a magic charm and you wont have to suffer those awful spasms any more.

A lot of us have been in that horrible situation of wanting to die, whether we are young or "old". In fact as a "very old" fissure sufferer, who wanted to die nearly every night for 7 months, might I just suggest Juney, that its probably easier to have a fissure if you ARE young, after all, you have only one person to concentrate on and get better, us "oldies" are trying to keep our families together and look after our children and husbands to make sure our families stay as normal as possible. Children get VERY upset seeing mummy/daddy/nanny/grandad crying in pain. And just think of fissure sufferers who have little babies to care for- they not only have to deal with the pain, but have a demanding little one who still needs feeding/changing/looking after, whether they feel up to it or not, or are in agony. Its very easy to wallow in self pity - sometimes we have to think of others who are worse off than ourselves.

Lars, because you are young, your body will heal quickly once the pressure has been taken off with the LIS. Good luck , i hope you get your appointment through soon.

Its sad you are in so much pain and its not easy to go through such pain whether young or old.i always felt i was the worst case and kept wondering why it was happening to me now with a small baby.but after coming on this forum ive realised there are many more in worse situations than mine.As val says,i do have a small baby to look after and he got very upset and started crying when i was crying in pain.i was shocked to see how much it affected a 4 month old baby.after that i never cry in front of him.i try to put on a smile even though im dying in pain or ask my hubby to take him away from me.sometimes im in so much pain that i cant even lie down n feed him or i just wait for him to finish his feed even though im in pain.sometimes i just have to stop him as i cant cope n i feel so guilty and upset for the breaks in his feeding.we all have our problems and its not easy for anyone.i cant even imagine how anyone goes to work in this pain.hats off to them.
good luck and hope u get well soon.