Juney -
I was reading on the MOM thread about how you try to have formed stools now. Are your stools formes with the benefiber? Or are the like mashed potatoes? Mine are mostly formed, but if I up my benefiber dose they get like oatmeal/mashed potatoes. Are you taking the miralax ever?
Jen

Juney
Corsica

jen - i'm the same, if i take more than 1 teaspoon of benefiber my BMs are mushy and messy. i think that causes more pain now actually, it makes for more inflammation and irritation. i'm using 1 teaspoon a day and maybe i'll try to stop altogether soon. the BMs have been formed this past week and since i'm using HC suppositories twice a day now, the pain has been minimal. i'm sooo scared that when i have to stop the suppositories the bad daily pain will come back. i don't use miralax or MOM anymore but i still go everyday first thing after i wake up. i've never used miralax actually

Do you think you might want to try celebrex for the inflammation? Just a thought....

Juney - I hope you have some good news....

the GI dr told me that after 3 surgeries in 1 1/2 years i've had so much trauma in the anal area that i can never expect to be 100% normal. this wasn't a surprise to me really as it's been so long now.
he said to continue with the hydrocortisone suppositories twice a day for 4-6 weeks. he dismissed the idea of proctitis and said this painful inflammation is attributed to all the trauma and pain i've gone thru the past few years. the skin down there is so sensitive, it doesn't heal like normal skin would...and in some cases with prolonged trauma it never heals normally.
he did an external exam and said the skin and anal area looks healthy and b/c i have no other symptoms, there's no need for a sigmoidoscopy or other invasive potentially pain-causing exam. he also said oral anti-inflammatories wouldn't help since the problem is confined to the last inch or so of the anus.
i'm gonna continue with the HC suppositories for a few more weeks and see how things go. i asked him multiple times about the effects of using it for so long and he kept reassuring me it was fine for this problem.
so i'll just keep hangin in there for now.

I hope with time this will all calm down Juney

It's like with Lecia then, you need more time to heal and regain some normality down there Juney. I feel sorry for you, it's so hard having these problems. We all want to give up sometimes, it's just too much...
Are you able to go out, or is pain too heavy. What are you capable of doing? Have you considered going to a therapist, it helps talking to someone
Have your fissure healed, and is it the fraility of the area that is causing problem?
Corsica

corsi - i'm able to do pretty much everything normally now. BM every morning right when i wake up helps so i don't have to worry about it the rest of the day. i've even stopped the baths so i'm not spending as much time in the bathroom. i take 1 over the counter pain med every day and that helps enough. the pain is definitely not debilitating. it's more of an annoyance just to feel it, but i know i'll have to feel it for a long time since that area is so compromised.
i've even gotten a job again after not working for 5 months. i'm still taking celexa everyday and i really think that helped me get out of the black hole i was in for so long. on bad days i still think about dying but nowhere near as much as i used to! looking back i cannot believe how miserable i was the past few months. i never want to be in that kind of mental hell again. thanks for your thoughts

This is whats it's all about, isn't it....

juney wrote: BM every morning right when i wake up helps so i don't have to worry about it the rest of the day.

I am soooooooo happy things are a little better - not good, but better. Even the smallest steps in the right direction is good, I think that is the way one has to think when having this horrible condition. Now you know what you have to deal with, and that it will take time.
I'm with you about the black hole and dying thing Juney, but we will fight this. Another thing is that when one has gone through tough health problems one becomes more humble in the way one views things in life.
You are a strong young woman, and you love cats so you will beat this...
:redlove: Corsica