You know you have an anal fissure when:
You used to read "War and Peace" on the toilet, but now read it in the bathtub...

You replace your make-up bag for your butt bag...And you spend a small fortune in butt products thinking you will find the cure that no one else has thought of

Ha- I have a "butt bag" too and it has gone with me on 3 trips so far! Definitely now more important than the makeup.
You spend your time being scared "sh_______" and wish you really were...

dawn wrote:And you spend a small fortune in butt products thinking you will find the cure that no one else has thought of

LOL this one pretty much hits it right on the head
Mine would be: when you talk about stool shape and consistency with complete strangers and it doesn't feel weird at all, and also when you share tips on how to insert creams inside your butt and that doesn't feel weird either.

One more since I'm at work at the moment: when you have to clear your browser history before every Web conference call so that clients don't see "anal fissure" in the visited websites list

NG!! The browser history!! Everytime I type in A- Analfissure.editboard.com comes up.
I use to be very modest about everything, but the butt problems changed me so much. I know what you mean about discussing poop and butt meds. My husband never even heard me pass gas in 10 years that we've been together , except during labor in which I said I'm sorry but I'm going to pass gas..lol
Now is a different story. He's actually looked at my poop w/me when I first started seeing blood, not to mention cleaned me after lis and checked me daily down there. I was really thinking there'd be no more romance after all this
Yeah but there's nothing I haven't talked about w/my butt...My poor sister and sister in-law! They'd call and were even happy when I had a good poop day with my fissure :oops: :oops:

Hahahaha ok I think you got me beat there. I haven't indulged in "spousal poop examination" yet I did have my wife check the incision after LIS though!
Passing gas I've got it all over you hands down though. I've been happily tooting freely around the house for years. The only change after the butt problems has been the frequency and tone of the tooting (the former has gone up and the latter has gone down).

LOL.! NG, I thought of another one-
I've almost wrote things in my facebook status- Like eating a resee's cup for the first time in 8 months or can't wait til I can eat a Bid Mac again. I have some older people on my page who always write what they're cooking or where they're going to eat and I just wanted to freak on them while I was setting in my hot bath w/ the lap top on the toilet. It was pure torture!!

I wanted to add to the spousal poop examination... I know that man loves me! If there was ever a shadow of a doubt, it's gone now...lol He would actually go w/ me to the bathroom when I was scared and when I'd have a complete bm- he was like a cheerleader" Good Job Baby", like I really did something. OMG! I'm so glad those days are over and hope to never see them again!!!

dawn wrote:He would actually go w/ me to the bathroom when I was scared and when I'd have a complete bm- he was like a cheerleader" Good Job Baby", like I really did something. OMG!

Alright this one is just HILARIOUS, although I'm sure it probably wasn't funny at the time