You know you have an anal fissure when...
You watch TV, eat, surf the net and sleep, all in the bathroom!
You only use Q-Tips for removing fecal debris from your anus.
The mirror has a new use :)
You squat on the toilet
You make excuses not to sit down in someone's house
You have a fear of public toilets
It seems normal to insert your finger in the anus
You look worryingly at the size of the DR's finger
The bloo loo becomes red loo
You writhe about on the floor after BM like an ant under a magnifying glass in the blazing sun.
It feels like your pooping a bag of nails.
Your anus is tighter than a field mouse's earhole
