I know this may be a 'real' sensitive topic, but I just wanted to know if anyone on this board has ever had them thoughts because of this terrible affliction!??? I know I have, I am sorry to say.... Especially when you feel like you have tried everything, and nothing seems to work unfortunately!!!

Whoooaa, wait a minute, man. You can't start thinking such things over this. It will be okay! We're here to help. Talk to us :]

Nakhti,
There have been many people on the board here who have expressed their suicidal thoughts, so please don't feel you are alone. Severe pain of any kind in any moment can lead anyone to the depth of despair where they feel they simply can't go on for another second, and life itself just doesn't feel worth living.
It's really positive that you posted here though, to connect to others for support and understanding, and it helps others too. The reaching out is so key. The expression of despair is a step toward moving through it. Holding it in silently only makes it darker. The despair will have an impact on your ability to heal, so it's important to keep reaching out for support and reaching out to resources to help you navigate through this, not only physically, but emotionally as well. Pain takes its toll on us all in all dimensions of our lives.
I hope it helps to know your pain is understood and is seen here on this board, that there are people who care, real people behind the words on a screen, and who hope you'll keep reaching out, being open, and who also hope you'll stick around.

Truly wise words from Jr2!
Yes, it affects us all and I hit rock bottom. I'm prone to suffering from mild depression and slightly OCD, so going through these issues made me 100 times worse and I became obsessive about the whole issue, depressed to the point I didn't want to get up in the morning because I didn't want to deal with the day ahead. I too felt I'd be better off just not being here anymore but immediately curbed those thoughts by looking at all the good around me, the love for my family & friends.
AD's helped me immensely (OK not for everyone but given my history, they were what I needed at the time) and they lifted me through the dark cloud I was stuck under and made me develop a much more positive attitude towards it all and gave me the strength and determination to get through it all.
There is way through this for you I really believe that. It's just getting there, finding what works for you and if surgery is your only option, then consider it. You WILL get there. People do get through this. There are many success stories on this site......just hang in there and try and channel those negative thoughts into something more positive and keep yourself distracted too with hobbies. Shift your focus from your bottom to anything else!!!
Keep perservering! and if you feel terrible again, post your feelings, so we can provide you the support you need again.

I know how you feel, ive been dealing with fissures for 6 years now, and when it doesn't go away its hell. It helps being here though.
x

I've hit rock bottom before as well. I get major PMS symptoms and crazy mood swings - being depressed isn't fun! Consider your surgical options - I will honestly say I'm glad I finally did. It will be okay!
The other thing that really helped me was yoga - I started practicing and got addicted to it. It put me in a sense of calm and brought "happy thoughts" to my mind. I know it's not for everyone - but I can truly say yoga class and finding that zen changed my life. I continued going to classes even though I was in ridiculous pain. People probably thought I was funny - sitting slanted to one side on one butt check! But, it truly brought me to a good place. And the relaxation helped with the pain.
I've met so many great people on this site - and the support is overwhelming - please do reach out! Just having someone to share your issues with can make a world of difference.

Please respond, dear! I am worried for you. Are you doing okay?

I am still here, and thank you everyone for your concern and encouraging statements/replies... I really do appreciate them all, especially having to deal with this terrible condition! I am just trying to make it da by day honestly, and as for superficial methods! I have already had a hemrrhoidectomy, a colonoscopy, THD, an internal lateral sphincterotomy, and Botox injections as well... And I am STILL having issues.... SMH

Stay with it Nakhti - you are not alone. Sending you lots of hugs and support x

You are not alone.... Far from it. I have thought on several occasions that if this is me now for life.. What's the point. Of course I would never act upon these thoughts, and I know they are just fleeting. Pain does very strange things to a person.... Prolonged, seemingly endless pain is completely soul destroying. You are bound to get anxious and depressed.... But the most important thing to do is try and rationalise your thoughts and have some hope that things will get sorted.... As they surely will
A virtual hug is being sent your way
OMB x