Pamplemousse, hi there, even when I have nothing to add due to the wonderful advise your have gotten here already, I can only offer you my sympathies and well wishes, I understand how you feel after such lack of compassioned care by the doctor, it happens, just get yourself another doctor and find somebody that will help you talk to the doctor about your fears and concerns along with your medical history.
I hope next time things will be better for you, do not lose hope.
I wish you the best.

Thanks for sharing your experience, WelshDoubleFissure. It took me a long time to find a GP that I like and trust. I wish all doctors were like him! I think some people become doctors purely for the status and money, not because they care about helping people. Your surgeon sounds amazing too. I am considering making a complaint but I hate to cause any trouble. Then again I’d also hate for someone else to have to go through what I experienced.
Thanks for the advice, Ever the Optimist. Although I am extremely grateful for the NHS I sometimes think it would be easier if we could just research and select our own doctors!
Thank you for your kind and supportive words, marg6043.
Everyone is so nice here!

Pamplemouse, so sorry you have had this experience. You will find a caring CRS. I too am in the UK and the first CRS I saw when I had hem banding was so uncaring, got me straight on the couch, no explanation and just carried on not telling me what was happening, so I can understand how awful you must have felt. I would log a complaint and make it known how bad your experience was. When they offered me the same CRS again, I said no way! I travelled to another hospital in another area to see my current CRS. He is so caring and has my best interests at heart. You will find the right one. Look on the Internet and get some recommendations for CRS in your area. Also get someone else to go with you on your visit. Good luck with the Dilt, you may just heal with it.
 

If you can afford it, you could pay for a private consultation with a recommended CRS then ask to be treated on the NHS for any further treatment, most will do this and you will be feeling safer knowing you are in good hands. I did this and I only paid Ј200 for consultation. Just an idea.

Thank you, Rachael 1984, for your supportive and helpful comments. I haven't made a complaint yet but am certainly tempted to do it. Hopefully the Diltiazem will work!

Hi, I'm sorry about your experience with that doctor. I'm probably a lot older than you are but I use this tactic when faced with an unpleasant doctor. At the end of my visit when he asks me if I have any question I always say yes, "I'm just wondering how it is you have any patients when your bedside manner is bad." Of course I never go back to that doctor but I do find it makes me feel better because at least he knows why I won't be seeing him again. Surgeon are notorious for arrogant behavior. It's unfortunate that we have to remind them that we are people with real emotions. Suzy

Thanks, suzyljank (sorry I didn't thank you before -- I haven't logged on in a while).
I took the advice here and made a complaint and the “patient experience” team at the hospital arranged it so I would see the consultant at my next appointment rather than a member of his team.
That was today and it was a lot better than my last appointment, though still stressful. Unfortunately I’m still getting pain and the surgeon couldn’t actually see anything from the exam so he wants to do a more thorough one under general anaesthetic and then do botox injections if he feels it’s necessary. At first I just said no to everything and that I would rather just put up with it but he talked me round. Now I have agreed to the exam under anaesthetic and have said I’ll think about the injections and can decide on the morning of the procedure.
But I think I might bottle out of the whole thing. I just can’t bring myself to tell anyone about all of this, other than my boyfriend, and I don’t know how I’ll be able to hide having a general anaesthetic from my mum seeing as I live with her! And I feel so completely terrified about having a general anaesthetic (even though I’ve had one before :roll: ).
I just feel so worn down and totally devastated by this whole experience. I try not to be self-pitying but in this instance I can’t help asking why this is happening to me and just feeling so totally sorry for myself. I really, really want to die.

Hi, you don't need to have general anesthesia. I had double advancement flaps with a spinal instead of a general. I also told only those who needed to know but I never felt embarrassed. You'd be surprised how understanding some people and friends can be. I found out a few people I knew also had problem like this or knew someone in their family who did and they were all very nice about it. I have to say I was very terrified of surgery too but now I wish I would have just gone ahead and done it sooner. These things can consume your entire life so do whatever it takes to get on the road to recovery and get your life back. All the best Suzy.

One visit with the CRS and I had enough. I called back the next day and cancelled the scheduled surgery while determined to continue with alternate methods - nitro, Miralax (Movicol), and fiber. Learning from this website (and patience) made all the difference.

Hi can I ask where in the the UK you are - just the general area? I am in the South West and Your CRS sounds a bit like my CRS - doing the exam and then immediately telling me what he has found and what he wants to do. I guess I am older and bolder and possibly less sensitive about this issue (I am sensitive about plenty of other stuff)- having 2 kids probably helps and also work in health care.
I had thought myself that his approach would not suit a lot of people- he did  however ask if I wanted a nurse as a chaperone in the roombut I declined.
The thing is I have carried on with this surgeon because I know he is very good at his job and has excellent outcomes and works to come up with better treatment for people.  This at the end of the day is more important to me as i know the operation he has done for me was not without risks and he ends up repairing people when their operations with other surgeons have failed.
I think if you have additional  issues such as mental health issues you should have a nurse or support worker with you to support and chaperone and have as much written down about the issues you are having as possible. It is just such an embarrassing issue that we all cringe at the thought of talking about it.  I did have to write a letter of complaint to my consultant about poor after care after my first operation. The second went much better and I think my letter had hit home as my post op care was much better this time round.
Having a GA does sound scary but having had 2 this year I feel much happier at the idea of having another in the future.