Whats left to live for?

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Whats left to live for?

Postby ruined_life » 14 Jul 2014, 23:14

Hello board,

Id like to discuss my story and hopefully get some advice to ease my suffering. My quality of life sucks and I feel I have nothing to live for. I'm a homosexual male (Bottom) and I have had a chronic anal fissure for I believe 6 years now. It is not all that painful (is it superficial?). I take around 10 Metamucil capsules a day and eat a lot of fibre. I also take fish oil pills and do sitz baths. I seem to think that my AF heals but EVERY time I try to have anal sex it re-opens and bleeds. I feel I am at risk for HIV. I went to a Colorectal specialist and he seemed to disregard my concern and said "just don't have sex with men" and "nothing was wrong and that its just a cut". He also told me to pray and maybe ill make it into heaven...I was prescribed to Diltazem cream which has done nothing at all. I also try to use virgin coconut oil daily. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scheduled to meet a different specialist and hopefully this one will be more open minded. I feel that I may need cauterization or dilation surgery to help my AF. I need this to go away for good or else I will kill myself. I'm losing hope and I need advice. Is there any success stories of people who enjoy anal sex? Will I ever have be able to do it again? should I try oral Diltazem or nitro? I do not want to have a LIS done i have heard of too many horror stories. PLEASE HELP ME BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby Scientist2516 » 15 Jul 2014, 09:49

Hi ruined_life,
Wow, that is terrible. That colorectal specialist was a total idiot - unfeeling and unprofessional. He should be struck off for introducing his religious opinions into a medical consultation, not to mention his ignorance of sex.
Sorry, I know that doesn't help you, but wow! just wow!

YES you need to consult somebody else, and it's great that you have an appointment. Nitro and nifedipine are both options. Gentle heat on your bum, sitz baths, wet wipes when you poo, are all helpful.

You are taking a LOT of fibre. The big question is - are your stools soft? If not, the fibre is likely not helping you. Also, so much fibre can make your stools bulky. In any case, be sure to drink plenty of water, to hydrate the fibre, or it will do you no good.

You could also switch to miralax or kondremul, which are great stool softeners. There are other options, like colace - find what works best for you.

If you've been healing and re-tearing for 6 years, it's possible you have a high anal pressure, and LIS may be your best/only option. Please don't be put off by horror stories, but read some of the success stories here. Many people have been helped and permanently cured by LIS. It's not for everyone, but don't just dismiss the idea.

As a gay man, perhaps you might be helped by anal dilitation. Do a search and read about it here on the forum. It used to be done commonly, but then was dropped, as it didn't always work. Then a couple of surgeons started doing it in a more controlled fashion, with more success. I mention this technique because you can't afford to have a narrow anus that can't be stretched. Some people here do self-dilitation, with mixed results. Again, you can read about it in the archives.

Good luck, my friend. Please please don't despair. You have friends here. You can ask questions or just vent. Everybody here knows what the pain is like. Please let us know what your new specialist says!
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby Alyssa » 15 Jul 2014, 18:39

Ruinedlife,

I'm sorry to hear that your experience with the doctor was not the best, I have seen a few myself (4 CRS, 2 GS, 1 GP) and some should not be doctors! I sometimes wished that they would experience this themselves so perhaps they would have a better bed side manner... I also would suggest that you see another CRS that will listen to your problems, by the way 6 years is a long, long time.... I've never had surgery but if I had the chance I would but just make sure that the surgeon is capable and do your homework. You can also ask others on this forum for recommendations of surgeons in your area.

You're not alone in this, we are here for each other....
2/14 Fissure developed
3/14 Diagnosed w/ fissure given Nifedipine
4/14 Referred to Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy=Pelvic Floor Dysfunction
5/14 Fissure declared "healed"/chronic anal pain persists
9/5/14 Botox to pelvic floor
9/22 biofeedback
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby Jbl22424 » 15 Jul 2014, 22:15

LIS is a very common and successful way to treat a fissure. Were the horror stories you heard from people you know or things you read on the internet? I agree with Scientist - read some of the success stories on here. Oh and your CRS is a total a$$hole. :) I hope you have a new one by now!
Developed fissure from constipation due to breastfeeding 7 weeks after delivery (Jan 2014)
Nifedepine
Colace
Magnesium
Miralax - godsend
Nitro - some improvement
LIS (May 2014) - cured for 3 months then setback
Diltiazem
Feeling better for now
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby owmybum » 16 Jul 2014, 03:28

Sorry to hear you had such a god awful experience with the CRS! I echo what everyone else has said.... Get a new one ASAP.... Preferably one that keeps his own opinions to himself and gets his head out of his own arse!!!

Don't be scared of surgery..... 6 years is a long time to keep re tearing... It sounds very much like you have high resting pressure and LIS just might give you your life back.

Hang on in there.... And keep us posted!

OMB x
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby ruined_life » 16 Jul 2014, 23:18

I feel like LIS would go terribly wrong somehow, my luck is crappy. Also if my AF cut is not healing, I don't think a larger incision would either. I try self dilation at home but it just seems to re-tear when I do it. Is cauterization with silver nitrate risky? I want this nightmare to end :(
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby Scientist2516 » 17 Jul 2014, 10:58

RL, a LIS cut heals totally differently from a fissure tear. The idea of the LIS cut is to lower the resting anal pressure (to allow increased blood flow to the area, which promotes healing) and to prevent spasms, since a cut sphincter is not supposed to be able to spasm.

To be truthful, there are people here who would say that a cut sphincter can still spasm. So there is that. But again, please do not write off LIS. It has helped people, and is still the most successful treatment for chronic fissures. You need to find a specialist who understands that your fissure is chronic, and who understands your situation. Don't settle for less. This is your life, and you need to grab it back from the fissure nightmare.
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby Jbl22424 » 17 Jul 2014, 23:19

I've never read about an LIS incision not healing. I know it is counter intuitive but the surgery is truly a miracle cure. It gave me my life back. Haven't had pain since a week post op. Leading up to surgery I think I cried every day for three months. I regret waiting. It really is a simple surgery with minimal risk that completely eradicates a fissure. I couldn't recommend it more.
Developed fissure from constipation due to breastfeeding 7 weeks after delivery (Jan 2014)
Nifedepine
Colace
Magnesium
Miralax - godsend
Nitro - some improvement
LIS (May 2014) - cured for 3 months then setback
Diltiazem
Feeling better for now
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby Fissurefrustration » 10 Nov 2014, 08:44

How are you doing now? Any update?
Suffering since June 2013 :(

Methods tried:
Sitz Baths
GTN cream - awful migraines!
Manuka Honey / Coconut oil / Aloe
Vitamin E suppositories
Tablets (Fiber, Cod liver oil with vit A+D, Multi vits)my + tag excision X 2
Dilatiazem - so far so good.
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Re: Whats left to live for?

Postby Scientist2516 » 10 Nov 2014, 13:43

Ruined life hasn't been back here since 2 days after his first post. Didn't find what he was looking for, I suppose?
Nifedipine/lidocaine, no help
Diltiazem, effective, but caused major rash
Nitroglycerine, effective.
Topical estrogen for final healing.
Gentle heat to bottom - pain relief, muscle relaxant
Kondremul mineral oil
Time - lots of time.
Status - Healed!
User avatar
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