That's really weird and I'm sorry that you're experiencing that. I told my parents that my small pencil BM retore things and they said it shouldn't happen. I feel like the perfect BM is like the white whale.... nearly impossible

Abu I think you are right. It is related to our minds so much. My husband said the same. I was so near recovery before the holiday. I'm quite a tense anxious person and I tend to worry far too much. Even before the holiday I started getting pain again in the run up. I'm half way through and it's improving. My parents came out to Spain from a few days but they have gone home now. My parents are great but I guess an added worry and I have three kids too. To be fair they are teenagers and a nine year old they are not little so the stress is brought on by myself mostly!!!
Now I'm relaxing and I have started the stool softener again which I need right now I'm going the right way.
I'm really glad you are doing well.

Missy is it worth getting checked for diverticulitis? My grandad had this although I don't know how it was dealt with.

SueMac, when I go through periods of stress, anxiety or worry I go back to softeners because I know what's coming next. So it's a way of life that works for me. When I am relaxed and happy I don't take anything and I can eat absolutely anything. Go figure, so much worrying about diet, fiber, water and so on. Makes zero difference.

Suemac I had I stool sample taken and bloods now I'm waiting for an ultrasound but the doctor doesn't think it's diverticulitis.

Abu- I think I am going to adopt the same idea.accept I need stool softeners for stressful times in life but come off then when relaxed. It’s very interesting that your frame of mind is so linked to your bowel health, my husband is convinced my pain comes from stress-particularly since the crs found no real cause for pain to the levels I can experience.

Missy- maybe that’s good if you cAn rule that out? How are you doing today

Abu-would you say you are cured? Just wondered what your view is on how you are now. I se you joined in 2014. This is when I had my first anal pain although it’s been periods of gone away and periods of pain in that time.

SueMac, cured or healed is a state dependent of how each defines it. My old definition of cured, which was to be like before the fissure, will never materialize. I know this for sure and I hardly believe anyone can claim that. As opposed to that, my new definition of cured is to be pain free for more than 6 months with no bad episodes in between. So yes I am healed as I had no issues in more than 6 months but I still eat healthy and I am aware that I need to guard my stools for the rest of my existence. I also take softeners when I experience stress, something which a normal person which never had a fissure doesn't do. I do EFT every night before bed and visualization techniques. Also, when I travel I always pack Vaseline, gloves, Zinc oxide cream, magnesium, vitamin C even if I don't use them. So it's a matter of perspective.

I have healed and cured acute fissures and been 100% fine, no pain at that spot ever again even when constipated. Chronic is different

Abu for that sacrifice of being very vigilant as well as prepared it is a small price to pay for being free of pain. You seem to have found a real long term solution and I really hope I can get to this stage. Six months of no episodes is realistic target. I think I have reached this then I hit yet another setback and pain sets back in taking days or weeks to get back to pain free.
My husband is totally convinced it is due to my natural anxiety and tendency to become stressed which I think is worse in recent years. We have been together for 24 years so I trust his judgement and proved that when relaxed the pain eases, the constipation eases as you have described yourself. Goodness someone should do a scientific study on us and pay us millions!!

Suemac I second that haha. Stress doesn't help at all I can't even blame food half the time as I've said sometimes bad food gives me sold stools an good food gives me hard stools so how to we tackle the natural anxiety we have I've seen counsellors and psychologists I know the breathing techniques I've tried meditation now I'm thinking medication. On a good note I've had a few good days I'm taking one macrogol sachet and two coloxyl pills per day my bms have been formed but soft my muscles struggle to stretch sometimes since the bms are now more formed but it's better then having super soft bms. Still hopeful I'll heal but if I'm still not happy by the time my next crs appointment is due I'll get lis, I'm back on the waiting list to see a crs again by the way.