dear diary,.......

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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby mypoopyhurtsme » 19 Jul 2007, 20:54

Dear Diary,
Today my poopy hurt me. But it wasn't as bad as yesterday, and there wasn't any blood today. Although this has been a very difficult experience, I am very thankful that it has made me get serious about nutrition. I truly believe that this "minor" problem is forcing me to change my lifestyle in such a way that will prevent "major" problems down the road. I am also thankful for all the amazing people on this board who have given me wonderful advice and support.
Also, I'm beginning to actually like oatmeal.
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby happyass » 20 Jul 2007, 16:33

dear diary,
thank you for another smooth day. although it's only 6 pm, i have already had 2 bms......smooth....smooth......what happened to the spices and chicken from yesterday???? this morning i made a big miso veggie soup for breakfast loaded with snow peas, arame, wakame, green peas, noodles, carrots, red onions, and mixed bell peppers. for lunch i had my chocolate soy milk with all bran bran buds along with some raspberries and cherries. an apple for a snack. i even went for a 4 mile jog during lunch because the weather was just perfect. i am looking forward to an evening of yoga and some brown rice salmon and avocado sushi with some fennel carrot soup and green tea. and my favorite acai berry frozen treat. i am so glad i started taking the aloe vera juice straight as it has helped along with the natural laxative to bring me back to regularity. i promise to keep up the good work. now i hope i can figure out to keep myself regular while visiting denver the next four days for work!!!! i hate work travel..................... happyass
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby SunshineHope » 20 Jul 2007, 20:55

Dear Diary ....
Things have been nice lately, thank you God. I'm really happy I discovered spinach and hope I'll continue using it like pop-eye. I'm also really happy I bought the sitz bath because it's helping me soak more frequently. I hate wasting water and with the sitz bath I'm using much less water but I am able to bathe more frequently because it's less of a hassle than a full bath.
Please give me the strength to deal with this and everything else. I'm waiting for my CRS appt in 2 weeks and have no clue what will come out of it. Botox? Surgery? Natural healing? All I know is I have friends visiting in Mid August and therefore I likely wont get surgery until perhaps September, if I do get it at all. I just hope everything will be ok. Give me strength please .... Image :cheer: :afro:
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby Deleted User 5 » 21 Jul 2007, 06:59

Dear diary,
Is it true that anal fissures can really make good things happen in people's lives? I have a confession to make! I sneaked peeks in other AF sufferer's diaries, and I learned that evidently, a lot of good can come from something as miserable and life-altering as a fissure.
I know that even though I though my fissure was about the most horrible malady I ever faced, some very great things happened in my life as a result, including but not limited to learning how to eat in moderation, and eat healthy...
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby mypoopyhurtsme » 21 Jul 2007, 14:53

Gareth! Your meals sound delicious. Do you have a recipe for that miso soup you mentioned? I've been making miso with carrots/scallions/wakame...but would love to make it a little heartier.
Also, do you have a macrobiotic cookbook you'd recommend? I know you recommended a desert one for me a while back...but I don't think I'm quite there yet. I actually have a couple macro cookbooks now, but most of the meals are..mmmm....a little bland. And worse than that, a "balanced" macromeal seems to have like 6 courses and probably takes like 3 hours to make.
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby happyass » 21 Jul 2007, 21:58

Dear Diary,
Today was a challenging day because I had to travel for work and will be away from home for a bit. This means that I won't have access to my macro stuff and well, eating at work functions isn't healthy either.
However, I tried to make good choices and I must admit that perhaps the worst choice was getting the large french fries and root beer today. I was lucky to enjoy a very healthy macro meal for dinner tonight at Tokyo Joe's on 16th st. in denver. I then lucked out after my long expedition to the aquarium to find a wonderful natural store called 'vitamin cottage' where i was able to find a lot of good stuff including my aloe vera juice for $4. a 16 oz bottle which i will finish before i leave.
diary, i must confess that today i did something i have never done before. well after squatting and releasing a very soft bm, it was floating and looked just like the same bms that were hard but formed. what gives. was my bm soft on the outside, coated because of the aloe vera or what have you, or was it all soft but just formed right. i don't know what possessed me to reach in and touch a bit of it but i did since sometimes i had to get my fingers dirty anyway.....and it was like slimy on the surface and just squishy soft. i was amazed at how formed and normal it looked.
is this what my goal is? slimy, formed stools?
hmmmmm......
i really like denver. it has a lot to offer. tomorrow i am going to go for a jog in the morning as i found a nice path to try and then i will have a big breakfast.
thank you universe for another great day of pooping even if i did have pretzels and a somewhat decent mc d experience. i can't wait to try this new organic aloe vera tonight.
sweet dreams......
happyass
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby SunshineHope » 21 Jul 2007, 22:11

Dear Diary,
Today I told my fissure to get lost. Hopefully s/he/it will listen. I'm hoping he/she/it will realize that I am the rightful owner of my ass. Image
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby Guest » 22 Jul 2007, 12:37

Dear Diary,
I am so grateful that I wake up and go to the bathroom. What a great way to start the day. No waiting and wondering when it will come (knock on wood).
I also want to say how grateful I am for everyone here. We all have our problems, setbacks and triumphs, and yet we are quick to support and quick to celebrate with each other. I know if it weren't for this board I would have become quite desolate about my fissure.
Yours Faithfully,
Lecia
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby happyass » 23 Jul 2007, 08:03

good morning dear diary,
yesterday was a delicious day of eating but not very healthy and yet, i had 2 bms that were soft and easy to evacuate. i feel that something is working in helping me with the new feel and regularity again. is it the aloe vera juice that i take 3 times a day? is it the acai treats? or the new chinese herbs for constipation that my chinese doc gave me? is it really taking the fish oil and flax daily now? is it a combination of these things? because i know that i haven't been able to eat the best and well, i have been lucky that my ass has truly been a happyass and my little sentinle pile/skin tag/thingy has returned to being a jolly soul at the amusement park and letting me enjoy my days.
i must admit that one of my weaknesses in traveling and staying at a hotel is the breakfast buffet. since i have been eating cereals and now miso soups and what not, i truly enjoy a hotel buffet breakfast and yesterday i did that. i managed to stay away from eggs as i love freshly made vegetable omelets with cheese but i that would be too yang and i am soooo yang. so i actually ate a big bowl of oatmeal with granola and sliced bananas. i didn't bother putting in the brown sugar or raisins. then i had a big belgian waffle made for me and i added some butter, maple syrup, strawberry topping and was in heaven. i also thought the sausage links here were dynamite! i ate four. two with my first belgian waffle and then two more with my second belgian waffle. my mistake was tasting the breakfast potatoes as they were seasoned just right and so hot. and then i made the potatoes even more irresistable by adding the house made mexican salasa that would be prefect with huevos rancheros - to the potatoes. and i was like sent in orbit. i ended up having 3 helpings of those potatoes with mexican salasa. and i still wanted more but i really tried to listen to my body as i was already full. having the chocolate milk, apple juice, water and delightful hot green tea helped filling me up. i know normally, i could eat more than this but i was taking my time and enjoying my meal.
i had a bm like 2 hours later and it was perfect and easy. i squatted of course.
then i had my afternoon meetings and for late lunch, i had my acai frozen treat at jamba juice. yummy.
had an afternoon bm and it was fine too. it came out quickly, felt like i had the runs, but everything was formed just a bit thinner in diameter.
i went with a coworked for dinner at about 8 pm to cheesecake factory of all places. i had the vietnamese spring rolls (very macro friendly) but i ordered the pork chops with spinach and mashed potatoes. i said **** it because for like the last 3 years i have always wanted to order those pork chops. tasty but not orgasmic. i ate one pork chop slowly by cutting it up in small pieces and felt bad that i sent the 2nd yummy big pork chop back because i was happy with my 1 chop. ate all my mashed potatoes and spinach. yummy. and of course, i ate chocolate cake on top of everything. i was stuffed. i left some of the cake left over too.
and for late night, i had a smaller bm. also easy.
denver has been a very nice experience and tonight is my last night. it's like i wish i could stay a few more days. at least i will remember that when i turned 37, i was in denver. so it is nice to be here as i get older, fatter, and well, having better bms than i normally have on business travel.
if i could ask for anything for my bday diary, it would be for the health of my mom to be great and that she passes her cancer screening in september with no problems at all. that she may continue to do well on quitting smoking and that she also begins to eat well and have her depression lifted. secondly i would offer my pain in the ass to those who are suffering here and are trapped in a state of anxiety. i know i was there and even though my road to recovery has had it sets backs with the pile or what have you, i wish others to continue with their progress to being happyasses too. i also would like to offer my pain to those little children suffereing from cancer and not knowing if their lives will be shortened or not. may they find the peace and happiness in their struggles which will always be more than whatever i have had to struggle with my damn fissure.
i am touched by the interview i saw of the belated tammy fae and how colon cancer really screwed up her life. i thank you that you gave me this problem so that i could get the courage to start thinking about my colon and get a colonoscopy. i truly hope that i will not have to deal with any type of cancer. tammy i am thinking of you. over the weekend, bush had 5 polyps removed. and he previously had more polyps removed. thank you for not having any polyps in my colon this time.
i want to be healthy and happy. and i should focus more on the gift of everyday rather than what i don't have or can't have or didn't do or failed to do. i am who i am today and i have what i have today and today is what i've got. i embrace it all.
you have given me so much life God and so much to be thankful, even my fissure, these wonderful people on the board, and my pets and friends and family.
i need to remind myself of that every day.
happy monday diary :-)
happyass
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Re: dear diary,.......

Postby Guest » 23 Jul 2007, 09:36

Geez Gareth, you are making me cry here! That was so touching.
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