Hey Cheryl, thank you! You are too kind. Please let Dwight know that I pass on my thanks to him as well. I'm so sorry to hear about his mom :( I hope he had a good visit with her. You mentioned that she is in Tennessee -- is he from Illinois as well?
Fissy, so it sounds to you like did I did have a minor fistulotomy along with the abscess drainage then? I've looked in the mirror a few times now and can't see much evidence that very much of anything was cut at all to be honest. I can still see a bump there -- it was very small yesterday, but actually looks bigger today.
As it stands, pain is still minimal (I actually had several big hard BMs today and it hurt way less than after LIS), and I still get a little extra "stuff" when I pass gas, but I'm not that worried about incontinence anymore.
I guess my main fear now is that the abscess will recur. For example I don't know why the bump would look bigger today than yesterday (I would expect it to get smaller with time). It looks kind of pink and bubbly. Maybe there really is a fistula that isn't fixed and the abscess is filling back up with pus or something... Who knows anymore. All I know is that 2 weeks ago, I just had some tolerable pain to deal with, and because I wanted to try to fix it, now things are infinitely more complicated and I still can't go back to work. I'd do anything to be back to the way I was before any surgery. I could live with that level of pain forever if I needed to.
You know what sucks is that I haven't told my parents about either surgery. They're very panicky people (even more than me if you can believe that) and would totally freak out. They live just a few miles away and come to visit us every weekend, so the last few weeks I've just made up excuses about how we won't be home. But now I'm kind of running out of excuses as things drag on :( On top of that, my son was admitted to the hospital again on Saturday (less than 12 hours after we got home from my surgery) and is still there now with my wife. He's had a super high fever for days now and they've got him on a ventilator (for breathing problems) with morphine (for pain :)) and benzodiapezines (for muscle spasms) via IV. I didn't even know they gave morphine to infants. Still no idea what the problem is either. The fact that we have just one income and I have no idea when I'll be able to return to work is just scary too. Feels like everything is totally out of control. Bad timing for ass problems, that's for sure. I thought if I did LIS in early May, it would be healed up before anything else crazy happened, but all it did was make everything crazier.
So okay as for the abscess, would you agree with the Wikipedia entry that perianal abscess after LIS is caused by the scalpel causing a fistula? I don't fully understand if it's a mechanical problem (i.e., scalpel causing a fistula) or simply a cleanliness problem (i.e., because bacteria are infecting the open incision). It seems that the treatment would depend on which one it is. Or maybe it could be both, I dunno anymore. I don't feel like I'm being too lenient toward the doc -- if it really is because of the scalpel causing a fistula, then yeah that's her fault. But then if other people have had infections after LIS, I wonder if it's always caused by the same thing or if it can have different causes. At this point I just don't care anymore. I just want this whole episode over with. I'm not even sure what I'll tell work in the morning. I was supposed to be back tomorrow, I guess I could always take a bunch of painkillers and just show up anyway. I don't really believe that things will get any better or worse no matter what I do anyhow. It's just taken on a life of its own now. If antibiotics work I've actually got a leftover bottle of Avelox that's still good, it gave me bad peripheral neuropathy when I took it before so I stopped, but I've got half a damn mind to just take it in case it helps at all.
Well that's my lengthy whining for the day. Off to sleep so in a few hours I can see how big the bump has grown overnight :) One good thing about valium, I'll say, is that it helps you sleep nicely even when your mind is spinning endlessly lol :) Oh and hope your daughter had a good prom

Fiss,
Yes, I was wondering also how your daughter's prom was! Could you post a pic????
NG, Sorry to hear about Jayden. You really do have a lot of stuff happening right now. Times like you are having is when I just have to pray. Looking back now I remember many times when my son was in hs that I literally just had to take it day by day--only one day at a time and focus on that. I've heard my FIL say that he approaches life that way now also. He has bile duct cancer and is 90, but yet continues to play tennis and bridge!!! I hope you feel better soon and get this butt problem BEHIND you and move onto other things!!
Maybe you should tell your parents, instead of continuing to "hide" the truth. They might be able to assist with some of your family struggles.
As for Dwight, his family was originally from Tennessee (both parents, I think). They moved to our area of Illinois and his dad went to work for Cat (in the factory) like many other Southerners did. Dwight's mom and dad decided to move back to Tennessee several years ago, and that is where his mom continued to live along with one of her other sons and some of her sibs. Dwight is torn between here (wife, MIL, 2 part-time jobs) and there (dying mother). I guess we can all relate to that type of prob, especially the sandwich generation!! Dwight and Tabby gave me a lot of emotional support when I was suffering with that AF!!

Hey Cheryl, my parents wouldn't understand to be honest :( They're, ummmm no real nice way to put this, but very "Chinese" in that they don't take any kind of risk whatsoever, and pretty much completely freak out before they understand a particular situation. If I told them a single thing, they wouldn't understand what it's like to have a fissure, and instead would make all kinds of crazy assumptions about why I had surgery ("you didn't need it!"), why I had a fissure in the first place ("you didn't take care of yourself!"), etc.
For example: when we first started feeding my son through a nasal tube at home, it didn't occur to them to offer any real supportive words or anything. Instead they kept talking about how it must hurt for him to have the tube inserted, how uncomfortable it must be, why there weren't any better alternatives, blah blah blah. I guess they never stopped to think that, yes, we already know that it sucks for him, repeating it over and over again doesn't help. They finally got it when I told them point blank to shut the hell up unless they had better ideas.
I've spent my whole adult life in California, so I can't personally relate to being torn between two places, but my parents definitely can. Their parents left China during the war, and both of them grew up in Taiwan. They didn't move to the US until they were in their 30s. My mom is happy here but my dad talks about going back to Taiwan all the time. I guess he misses it there, and his exact words are that he wants to die there. He doesn't even have family back there anymore, I guess he just misses the environment and old times. The US is real slow and quiet compared to most of Asia, I think that's what a lot of transplants miss when they come here (they get lonely).
Anyhow looks like my boss is cool with me working from home again this week while I soil myself and see if the infection decides to return, yay. Just have to head in to the office one half day this week to give a new product seminar to a bunch of folks, now that's going to be interesting. Hopefully I don't crap my pants in the middle of it and give the attendees more than they bargained for.

i had a long post but somehow the computer logged me out...
hope you're doing well--with the help of valium and ibuprofen i am surviving quite well--one week out and the pain is less than fissure pain...
will be back on when i don't have to spend so much time on the home desktop (waiting for a charger for my laptop which recently died...)
hope you're doing well--didn't have a chance to read everything, but good on you for getting to be home another week--i return to work wednesday night...
good luck and good night (the major side-effect i've had with the surgery is LOTS of sleep--16-18 hours per day!)

Oh boy - it sucks to the fullest extent :( . I am soooo terribly sorry that your baby is in a hospital again :( :( :( , how unfair - life is so cruel so often . How is your other baby doing ??? Is he home with you ??? Do you have enough strength to take care of his brother now , or is he with your wife and brother in the hospital *sigh : (((. I am so incredibly sorry NP, I wish I could be of some help :( !!!
I am so sorry to hear that grandparents are not able to understand and show more compassion and give support to all of you :( . How unfortunate *sigh... If I was in their place I would be at your home every single day helping with babies or cleaning or cooking or anything *sigh What - they come weekend for a "visit" ? Oh my... I know you can not change anything about that - I am just "floored" with that fact : (((.
I am glad to hear that "bumpy" is not hurting KTW - at least we have that part in a control.
NO, I did not mean that fistula was forming - I just supposed that she had to scrape off some top layer of a muscle - to clean the area !!! BUT - only she knows what she did ! Anyways - as you said - it absolutely is not important !!!! What is important is that you stay on the top of the things now and if you think that bump is getting bigger - give her a call NP - do not make me upset LOL Call every 30 min if you need to - you see how important it was that you went to check it out and you questioned yourself if you should !!!!!!!! As I said : ((( - please if needed go for the second opinion !!!! (you know whom I mean !!!!) Take a taxi !!!!! I wish I could give you a ride *sigh
Now - regarding antibiotics - YOU ARE NOT TO TAKE LEFTOVERS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE !!!! You need a Flagyl - a special antibiotic that kills off "gut-loving" bad bacteria and it is taken for a long time and if you take a wrong one it can produce resistant strains and make things much more complicated !!!! If you want antibiotic - go and ask for new prescription and especially NOT the one that caused you neurological side-effects
NP - you will make me come to your place and take a charge of you, I swear LMAO !!!! SO - you either take good care of your butt - or other (yeap...that is me lmao).
Please make her check it :( , and no - it is NOT true that it all is now out of control and whatever happen will happen !!!! YOU NEVER do that with your health , or anybody in your family :( - there is always a TON of things that can be done and should to help body heal No time for nihilism now, buddy !!!! Fight for your butt ; ))) !!!!!!!!!!!! What - do you think I would ever heal if I just waited for it to happen ??? Just stayed home when she told me to "sit on something hard" ???? Well ****&^*()(_(*&^%$%#@ hell - it made me even more determent to get well - this or that way - if that meant for me to go to a shaman - than I would have gone to a shaman !!!!!!!!!!!!! LMAO OK ???? So - I want to hear complete report about the "bumpy" tomorrow LOL- call and ask if what you see is normal and if she could look at it and how about some Flagyl or something . Ask how many of her patients developed abscess and how she treated them and in what period they got well . If she had 2 cases - you had to find another CRS who is more experienced and not waste time - at least it would be what I would do

Hey Fissy, my son's twin sister is at home with me. My mother in law is here taking care of her. She's a chubby baby so lifting her and taking care of her is difficult because of the surgery :(
Anyway the bump is still there. Looks kind of pinkish. About the same size as it was yesterday. It feels soft to the touch (not hard like last time) but doesn't hurt much yet. My butt is sore to sit on but that part at least is probably normal for 3.5 days post-op. So I've just been lying on my back a lot, playing video games, working on my laptop, etc. I get to work from home all week except for Wednesday when I have to go in to the office to give a presentation for two hours. My coworker was nice enough to offer me a ride to and from the office that day.
I actually asked the doc how many infections she's had and she says 4 cases total. Forgot to ask how many LIS surgeries that's out of though. She's out of town this week but I guess I could get one of her colleagues to have a look if the bump starts acting up. I'd rather not make the trip unless I have very good reason to, though.
My son's fever is stabilizing today and he's actually going in for g-tube surgery plus gastroesophageal reflux surgery tomorrow or the day after. For the g-tube, they make an incision in chest wall and stick a tube directly into the stomach so we can feed him through it. And for gastroesophageal reflux surgery, they surgically tighten a muscle in the esophagus so he doesn't vomit as much. Nasty stuff. He'll require around a 7 day in-patient stay, so my wife will be staying with him, meaning I don't have a ride anywhere until I can drive on my own.
To be perfectly honest, I'm not too keen on driving up to the other CRS you mentioned anyway though... I didn't say this before, but aside from the distance, one of the reasons I didn't end up doing LIS through him is because the anuscopy he did on me was the roughest one I've ever had. It caused a lot of bleeding and I was hurting like hell the whole drive back. Maybe (probably) if I did go through him everything would be fine now, but after that anuscopy I was (and still am) pretty leery. I don't doubt that he's a good doc based on your experiences, but I couldn't push my own experience out of my mind. You were so happy with him that I didn't want to say anything negative at the time :)
Anyway yeah I'm thinking about asking for some antibiotics. I've actually had Flagyl before. When I first got blood in my stool, my primary care doc thought I had pseudomembranous colitis caused by antibiotics. Flagyl is used to kill the C. Difficile bacteria that causes pseudomembranous colitis. Unfortunately one of its well known side effects is peripheral neuropathy, and I definitely got that pretty badly. Guess I'm just sensitive to neurotoxic stuff. I've had everything from ringing ears to burning scalp to prickly hands and feet as side effects when taking antibiotics lol. In fact I'd say Flagyl is the antibiotic that I'm the most scared of out of all the ones I've ever taken :( At this point I'll try just about anything though. I've still got some funky discharge (not sure if it's coming from the bump or from the anus) and have felt like I've had a cold for the last few days -- upset stomach, fatigue, dizziness, weakness, headache, etc. I don't know if it's allergies, just a cold, or a sign of some kind of systemic infection. No fever though so I guess systemic infection is pretty unlikely. I've taken my temperature with a thermometer about 10 times today so there's definitely no fever haha.
I'm not that worried about the sphincter muscle stuff at this point. If I have to have discharge for the rest of my life, then ok, I guess that's what happens. Rolled the dice and lost, what can I say. I've made worst bets before. Heck one day I could get hit by car while riding my motorcycle and die, that'd definitely be a crappier bet. Worse things can definitely happen. Right now it's the fact that the bump and discharge still seem to be there that make me worry the abscess will come back and I'll have to have more surgery. Not looking forward to an endless cycle of surgery.
I guess it's also possible that I'm just freaking out about nothing. The abscess surgery was on Friday evening, so maybe it just needs more time. I'm an impatient dude, especially when I'm anxious. For all I know the reality could be that this complication has happened to lots of other people and what I'm experiencing right now is perfectly normal lol. I do wish that I was never able to get that canceled LIS appointment back though. I'd totally gotten used to living with my fissure and could've kept it up forever. But nope, I just had to satisfy my damn curiosity and see what was behind the LIS door haha. And you're probably right that I should've had surgery through the other CRS you suggested. If I'd listened, everything would be okay, but nooooo I had to be smart! There were just so many decisions I could've made differently that would have resulted in better outcomes. I just had to pick the perfect combination of paths that led to this. Made a bunch of loser picks. Oh well, I've blabbed on forever again lol. Time to pop some valium and go have happy dreams now hehe. Thanks for caring, if I'm still sane a year from now I'll owe you a big one.

Sorry Dee, in my insane rambling I forgot to say that it's good to hear you're doing well. You were offline for a while and I was wondering how things went with your op. Guess you were just sleeping all the time haha. If you're returning to work this Wednesday night then that's awesome. Well not awesome that you have to go back to work, but awesome that you're able to. You'll have to let us know the details of how everything went when you get a chance. I don't want my crazy screaming to scare others off from LIS, so it'd be nice to hear your positive LIS story :)

NG,
Don't be too harsh on yourself about your past decisions. Looking backwards is always 20/20 as we all know!!!!!!!!! Hope you feel better soon.
We've been in Rockford since yesterday. Today is Lance's psychiatrist appointment. Yesterday was gastro doc appointment. I love his gastro doc. He's so cute and nice!!! Can I get a divorce and hook up with my son's gastro doc even though he is probably younger than my older son and already married???

Hey Cheryl, I know, hindsight really is always 20/20. I just feel so depressed. There were so many ways to go and I just picked the stupid one. I could've gone with the CRS that Fiss recommended, I could've just gotten Botox again, I could've done nothing, and it all would've ended up better.
It was really greed that got me to this point. I wasn't suffering that badly before surgery, just some mild pain here and there, but I wanted to get my old life back where I could drink beers, ride motorcycles, travel the world, blah blah blah. Greedy stuff you know, stuff that 90% of people in the world don't get to enjoy but that I missed because life was so good before. If I could've been happy to just live a normal life like everyone else, just with some very minor inconveniences, everything would've been fine. But I just had to try to get it all back and that's how I ended up mired knee deep in sh!t (pretty literally).
I'll consider that one a lesson learned, when things are going okay, don't whine and be a greedy (naughty naughty).
Sorry that you're making the doc rounds with your son, I hope he's doing well. I'll pretend I didn't read your personal comments about him though haha. So what are you saying about his psychiatrist, he's not cute and nice too lol :) J/K

Oh geeeezzz NP - why did not you tell me your experience with "my CRS " !!!!!! He just was the gentlest person I saw any time - I now wonder if we saw the same doctor - it is how shocked I am !!! Just insane !!!!! Hey buddy - I am not "related" to that dude and even than LMAO - if something sucked it sucked !!!!! Who cares who it is ???? You have to feel free to share anything here !!!!!! I definitely am not a person who "holds dr.'s side" LMAO - I am completely actually disgusted with the most of them and the level of insensibility to a human suffering. I never understood why the hell they choose that profession when they obviously HATE it . NO money can replace a feeling of doing a job one loves and being a Dr just to make money and have a title is disservice to themselves but even more to the whole humanity !!!!!!
I hope that your boy will have a successful surgery and be done and over with all those hospital stays and visits - poor sweet angel :( !!!! I am so glad that your MIL is at your place - I love her already LMAO !!!!!! I feel so much better hearing that, I do not know why LOL, I just hated to hear that you are all alone in this whole complicated family situation .
NP- please do not see yourself as a looser - how can you say something like that ?????????? In what way you contributed to ANY of this ???????????????????????????????????????????????????? NONE< NADA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life is a b*** more often than not - and we just have to swim through crap sometime until we swim out of it !!!!! NOBODY has no problems - nobody, NP ! Look at the movie starts and singers - one would think they must be the happiest people around - have it "all" !!!! DO they ??? Are they happy ???? How many actually is sooooo unhappy that they kill themselves !!!!!! How many had a successful marriage ???? I know only one !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How many raised happy kids ???? I know maybe 3 !!!!!!!! How many have no drinking or drug problems (or did not in the past)???? I know maybe 10 !!!!!! So ... !!!!!!!!!!??????? And like that their WHOLE life ! Now - if you ask me - it is them that are losers and not a smart, hardworking, adventurous, loving and sensitive man like you !!!!!!! You are the winner !!!!!!!!! And you will win this stupid battle too !!!!! As you did all others before !!!!!!!!! DID YOU !!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!! You did !!!!! Even harder ones - ones that only few can overcome - you DID !!!!!!!! It is easy to be a winner when all s dandy - lets see who can go through so much as you are going through and still be as strong as you are !!!!!?????? We grow as a humans and persons ONLY through experiences like those ! If we could - we would choose an easy path - but that path does not bring the best out of us ... and that counts ...at least in my book and the book of the universe !!!!!!
I wish you could see yourself of who you truly are NP We all do