Hehe

Thanks guys, love the christmas hat buttastic :-D

I run warm water over cotton wool and wipe myself clean, I then have a warm sitz bath (the mobile one that just goes over the loo) unfortunately I don't have time to jump in the shower cause of the children, I get about 30secs on the sitz and then I have a proper bath as soon as my husband gets home.

Been trying sweet potato and these strange corn ball cereal things for breakfast, but of course as with all carbs they are producing 4's . Back to fruit, veg, fish and honey!

Don't read this post if swearing offends you!

08.30 - A 3/4 BM...please excuse my language now......f##king carbohydrates, it's driving me crazy. I am not going to try any new carbohydrates now until I am healed!! But I'm really hungry, so I eat things with sugar in (honey etc) just to keep my energy levels up and my teeth are starting to hurt. FFS!! Had pain afterwards and had to take pain relief.

17.30 - A 4 that turned in to a 5 BM...woo hoo! Pain going and sorness afterwards but no blood.

I would feel SO much happier and have SO much more optimism if I could eat carbohydrates, living without ANY carbohydrate is REALLY horrible

Day 37

21.00 - A 4 BM which hurt to go, no blood.

I think I'm in hell, just woken up at 01.00 in a lot of pain. The pain has been waking me up until this point and I am now up and on the laptop as I can't sleep. I have taken strong pain relief. The pain is the burning pain I had before the botox and is 9/10 pain. I say 9 and not 10 because I can just about kneel to write this email. I have to wait until Christmas Eve before I see an NHS consultant and if the pain is like this every day I won't be able to wait that long. I am sure I know why I had a 4 and that is because over the last few nights I have sucked some white chocolate buttons. This has been for energy because I am starving and cannot live on protein alone....can anyone? Signing off in tears of both pain and desperation.

Just signed on and wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain. Its so hard especially after having a procedure you thought would fix all this. Know you're not alone even though it feels like it sometimes. One day it's just got to get better for all of us!

So sorry sugar you are in this pain. Think positive to your appointment and tell the CRS you want more treatment as you can't go on like this. I feel your pain, keep fighting. It is heartbreaking when the treatment we have doesn't work magic like we want it to. Xxx

Oh Sugar, that is terrible. I wonder why is this happening? Just because you have harder stool? Chocolate is tricky and I regret a lot when I had it so try to eat something else sweet for energy. I feel for you an I know how you feel because I experience burning pain to the point that I think my anal area is melting. If it is only from your diet you will find the balance and it will pass soon, I hope you are better by now.

Thank you lovely ladies, your support means so much to me

I am a bit better now, I have no idea what happened to me as I am back to irritation and soreness now, plus a few of those nasty shooting pains and pain when I wee....I had this before my botox, I think if a bit of wee goes near the fissure it makes it sting like crazy. I totally panicked as I thought I was back to square one!

Day 38

10.00 - A 4 BM, painful to go but no blood and only soreness afterwards, phew.

Day 39

09.00 - A 3 BM , painful to go but no after pain, just soreness and very aware of my PLF. Bending over, sitting etc doing these things very carefully again.

21.00 - A 4 BM sore to go but no after pain.

Hi Sugar!
Do you have a follow-up scheduled with your CRS soon? I think mine was at five weeks post-op, but I think standard is six.

Day 40

A nasty little 4 that was painful to go, but no after pain.