Life's so difficult!! Lol. I used my gtn last night for the first time in months. My body is so used to it - no headache or anything lol.

Did it help? I never got headaches from it myself. I suppose you used to? Is there another ointment where you are that you could get (ie., Nifedipine)?

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to ff, happy birthday to me.

Another year has come and gone and this time year I imagined this very moment thinking I would be all better - lol.

today started well in bed with a nice lie in for once and went to the loo at 11 as per normal. No blood and the bm didn't really hurt as such more of a tug. I must remember not to hold my breath when I go.

Post BM I've got minor shooting pains at 12 and 6, I thought my body would give me a break on my birthday! lol.

and MS, My gp wont prescribe nifedipine, says its not licensed! GTN doesn't really help me - I've used it for 2 years on and off with not much success.

Happy birthday FF...... I hope your bum lets you enjoy it!!

OMB x

Happy Birthday. And I, too, hope that you have an easy day on the bum front.

Happy Birthday Ff! I also hope you get more of a break on your Birthday. I know what you mean by milestones passing and thinking "I thought this would all be passed me by now." Sure wish I didn't think so much! lol.

As for the ointment, what about Diltiazem, is that licensed there?

Sadly nope. Only gtn

It's a dark wet Saturday morning here and my bowels woke me up early - I'm almost 3 months post Botox and still only just make it to the loo!! Pain on bm is down to a 1/10 the only issue is post bm I'm getting a pain at the fissure site that's hard to describe. Not pain to make me wince but it's like a dry pain as if I need to get back and have another sitz bath. I don't want to start using creams again down there especially after I got an allergic rash last time although it is tempting. I feel so close to healing but just can't get over these last little hurdles.

Hi FF, hang in there! This is a tough time because you want it to be over, and you can't imagine it will ever be over. However, I'm here to tell you that even though it feels like forever, one day you'll be on the other side of all this. You'll look back and remember how awful it was. Please know that no matter how slowly the time seems to go, and no matter how frustrated you get, there IS HOPE.
Your pain is down to a 1/10 - FANTASTIC. You feel close to healing - YES YOU ARE.
Give it the time it needs. You can do this. I know, because I've been exactly where you are, and I am All Better.

Thanks Scientist and you're so right! I know its a long journey but I just keep teetering on the edge of feeling ok then something happens. like this morning *sigh*

my BM still wasn't that painful maybe a 2/10 but felt a small twang of something - looked in the loo and on the stool there was blood. AGHHHHHH *bangs head against brick wall* luckily I've got my appointment for second follow up at the start of July so will be asking for a second round of Botox - what have I got to lose?

FF

So sorry to hear it Ff. Hang in there. It can be two steps forward and one step back at times but overall the improvement is there. I know it's tough but stepping back and looking at the big picture is the key. I keep expecting to see blood after myself. I feel like it's just a matter of time. Arg.

I'm glad you have your appointment too. Is it with the same CRS?