Yea same crs luckily.

I'm in such a bad way, was doing well until second bm of the day and since then I'm in agony no blood but felt a rip that's lasting for hours with stabbing pain at 6pm. *bangs head on brick wall* my diet is spot on, drinking so much water, bms are soft and medium sized !! What else can I do!?

That's awful, FF, I'm so sorry. I wish I could help.

ok since last post I seemed to be doing quite well, but today had 2 big bms within 3 hours of eachother. felt fine at the time (just the uncomfortable feeling) then i went to stand up and felt that horrible stabbing/tugging pain at 2pm which is new for me.... Just got home and had a sitz bath and put a lot of coconut oil up there which didn't hurt to insert. life is a roller coaster, sat on my hot bottle again still got some residual pain back there now. hooray for ibuprofen.

todays update...

bad day pain is now coming from 2pm! thats a new one for me. no blood on bm but that pain is definitely there right now. feels like an internal hemmi pain maybe, or another fissure. hard to tell.

Ff, sorry to hear you continue to struggle. With all the trauma down there for so long I would think you would be having a lot of pain sensations that may not actually mean there is any damage. I have had pain down there for years, many years before I got an AF, and there was never anything to be seen. Sometimes burning, sometimes prickling and sometimes crawling. Nerves can play tricks on us too because they refer pain from one place to another. It's weird, when I had my fissure, I would get pain on the opposite side of my butthole. I also tend to get knife pains anywhere around the entire sphincter at any time of day. I can go many days without is and then BAM! I am really trying to just ignore all this pain bullsh** and get on with things. I will wait to see what my CRS says but long ago I realized I should stop trying to correlate what hurts where and what exactly it means, as it just drives me bonkers. Much more easier said than done, I know.

Do you feel like the botox is wearing off? Do you bleed anymore?

Yea I'm starting to feel the same. Pain is just becoming a routine thing day to day but bms are generally fine!! It's just the dry tugging pain throughout the day that I can pinpoint that's getting to me. It feels the Botox is wearing off now but I'm no longer bleeding. (Had a scare the other day but realised it was just the red pepper I had for lunch lol)
I'm not sure what to ask him on Friday he's offering another bigger dose of Botox but not sure if it will help if it's nerve damage? I'm pretty sure a lot of the pain is coming from a small hemmi just on the inside of the sphincter that is palpable. It's so easy to obsess over all of this but 2 years down the line I'm just so tired of it all.

Ff x

An update, up and down with healing but feeling a bit better than the last couple of weeks. Saw my crs yesterday again who wants me under the knife again in the next few weeks. Lucky me...

evening everyone,

so a short update I've spoken to my CRS who is booking me in for another round of botox and banding if needed. My bum is behaving relatively and I'm only getting minimal pain mostly. when I use my cream and press at 6pm it gives me quite bad burning still but its nowhere as bad as it was before. still getting over these final hurdles.

Glad to hear you are doing better. Hope it continues to improve for you. When are you scheduled for more botox?

I'm going in the 14th of August at 12:30... not sure if it's going to help.

Had a few good days recently with very minimal pain but this morning I feel I've had micro tears occur all around the sphincter but especially at 12:00. *heart sinking feeling* back onto the hot bottle.

FF x