Ok so an update. As you may or may not know I had sclerotherapy on my piles which helped but I feel I'm going back down hill. I have a GP appointment next saturday and I'm dreading what they will say to me. I'm not getting any blood on my stool but I had a look in the mirror (working on my flexibility!) and I pulled back my sentinel pile and saw a horrific fissure there, it looks chronic and I think that's where my pains coming from. my pain comes when I conciously tighten my sphincter when sat or when I turn one way or the next in bed or when looking at something. the act of one cheek moving the other seems to give me a short stab of pain!! the BM itself is no way as painful as it used to be which I'm greatful for but I doubt I will ever be normal again.
things I've tried:
Vit E suppository - good, felt comfortable to use but of no noticable benifit
Fibre tablets - added bulk to stool but again - no real help
Laxido powder - helped to relieve constipation
Aloe Vera gel - felt good to start with but then skin around sphincter got sensitive to it and came up in rash. had to stop
Coconut oil - one of my faves to use, it's soothing and keeps skin soft
Showers - fab way to rinse off after a BM but if one of the jets hits the 'sweet spot' of a fissure its as if someone has just stabbed me down there with a very old rusty knife. need to be careful there
Manuka honey - again a good cream - doesn't make anything better but keeps it moisturized and feels soothing.
anusol cream - loved this! but skin developed a reaction

dr wheatgrass - works well but again my cheeks ended up getting a bad reaction making me itch for days. (even though I applied in the anus it ended leaking out through walking around
I never really understood dilating but I gave it a go the other day and safe to say it didn't end well. ended up in lots of pain and a very VERY tight sphicter.
Not sure where I go from here, I think I've tried everything and I point blank refuse LIS. *sigh* it really feels like there is no hope for me.
J x