Thanks Suzy,

I've had a good few days but today had a big BM (although soft!) and it stung, didn't really hurt... and found spotting of blood on TP. can't wait to see my GP next saturday to get my referral done and out the way.

JD

I swear it's my skin tag thats causing the trouble and its attached to the scar tissue inside, I walked home from work and god so much irritation, I showered off when I got home and now the pain has subsided.

one day I hope to look back over this diary and see how far I've come.

Prickily Pain today, constantly as if there is irritation all around the inside of the sphincter. uncomfortable to sit in one place for too long. *sigh*

A small update but important none the less, went to the GP today who didn't even examine me she just agreed to refer me to Caroline Burt the CRS specialist :)

now it's just the waiting game...

Hi J,

How you doing??
Great you've had the referral.... She looks like she's an experienced CRS.
Just waiting now will be the nightmare. Keep strong.
Are you managing to work full time with this?!
I'm going back on less days, down to 3 now, just can't cope with more. It's so hard trying to function in this pain.
Sending you hugs. Xxxx

Hi Rachael,

Not doing too great here I'm afraid. I'm working full time still as financially I'm in so much trouble if I stop work as I'm buying my first house at the mo and my current employer doesn't offer more than 2 weeks sick pay.

I just don't understand it, having my bowels open doesn't hurt!!! maybe a pinch but nothing in comparison to before. then after when I'm walking back to my office it feels amazing, I can feel my cheeks rubbing together with no pain and it's all pretty groovy. then an hour down the line suddely the tugging burning pain comes in at 6 oclock and then I get home to shower off and as soon as the jet of water hits my sphincter it's like daggers!!! then I stand up to dry off and it feels as though my tag is pulled as taught as it could be (maybe as it's dry?) and pulls on the scar tissue making me yelp. now I'm sat downstairs on a cushion for a bit of relief.

what's happening to me?

I've got my CRS appt on the 9th of feb and now I'm willing to do ANYTHING to get better. I'm stressed at work, I'm stressed trying to buy my house and this is just the cherry on the cake. I can't see myself living with this forever. I'm very lucky however not to feel like I'm passing glass anymore but I'm still in considerable pain for up to 7 hours of the day.

J x

Oh ff, my heart goes out to your that you are having to work through this. I was working for the first few months when I had a fissure and just couldn't to it. I have suffered financially but I just could not do it.. Just wanted to tell you that I too more often than not have a delayed pain after BM. I know I will have about 20 minutes until the agonizing pain sets in after the initial pain of going. I never heard anyone mention that before so I just wanted to let you know that I experience that is some sort of way too, not as delayed as you are explaining but there is still a delay. I used to take a sitz bath to work in a big bag along with numbing cream but I was lucky because it was a private bathroom. God bless your heart and you too Rachael. So hard to cope with work under these circumstances. Like I said I just was unable.

thanks wounded *big hugs* today again hasn't been good. my first painful BM in a few weeks... it got stuck halfway and i knew there was no going back but had patience and waited... but even though I didn't push, the last 1/4 of the stool caused a 'pop' feeling with the pain to go with it but no blood. I'm now sat on a hot water bottle which is helping!!
only a few days to go until my CRS (9th of feb!) x

I too get delayed pain after a bm. Always have. It starts about 20mins later. I think it's more common than we think.

I really feel for you working through it. I was working right up until a month or so before my flap surgery back in July. I'm glad I gave up because there was no way on this earth I would be able to go back even now!

Do you take a stool softener? Something like movicol/ mirilax is a god send to use when going through the hell of painful fissures.

OMB x

I'm trying laxido at the moment and it tastes VILE!!