Hi J,
I'm sorry! This is so damn unfair and bleeding ridiculous!
It definitely makes you feel like the CRS don't believe you.
Could you see another GP and say you won't leave the office until you get an EUA, or hold a gun to his/ her head?! No, seriously, try to get another opinion..
It's very difficult as I know how hard it is to get anywhere when you're in pain.
On the depression side of things, it just destroys you mentally, I have been on ADS which have helped, not sure if you could try them just to keep you going at the moment?

You are more than welcome to PM me, I know just how you feel. Xxxx

So sorry to hear this FF. Can you get to see another GP for a second opinion if your GP won't agree to it? Could they not see the same fissure you just described?

Many thanks Rachael for your kind words. I'm in such a bad place right now but it helps to know there are some kind wonderful people out there who understand.

My gp agrees with me face to face and saw the fissure, I said to her whilst in the foetal position with her examining me "I'm not going mad am I? You can see why I'm in pain?" And she said "it looks red raw and painful. Especially the hemmis and I can see a deep fissure so no your not going mad" and with that I felt such relief but to get to my CRS who said "your gp said on your flexi sig there was no evidence of anything going on I must agree I can't see anything out of the ordinary just small piles" broke my heart. I've been to my gp so many times now and with each visit they get less and less patient. I'm going to call my crs medical secretary tomorrow and beg her to ask the Dr to do an eua. It's so daft when I lie on my back with a mirror I can see how red raw I am and I can see my fissure when I pull back my tag. I even took a photo but it was of no use.

I'm so envious of people just laughing and joking at work with no clue about how lucky they are.

Big hugs to all. X

Big hugs to you too ff. These fissures and such are the darndest things. When I had my EUA on Saturday, CRS said that at first he had a hard time finding the fissure but when he did it just split wide open and he could see all the way to the muscle. So I just don't know how that big of a fissure was hard to find? I know what you are saying about people going on with their lives. I keep thinking if I ever get over all this I want to live, I want to laugh and I want to take in every minute in a big way and be happy and carefree again. Sending encouragement tonight.

So I went to London for a murder mystery weekend and I actually had a few good days, and suddenly last night when I sat weirdly on a chair I yelped out as I felt a retear happen and everyone in the room was just looking at me as if I just sat on a thumbtac. the pain isn't all sphincter based which i thought was odd so had to leave early and drive 2 hours home!!! to get my creams and have a look. The whole area looks anngry and red towards my coxyx to my sphincter and I think I've had lots of mini tears on that area of skin so pulling the cheeks apart to inspect made them all open up again today I may have a yeast infection or something down there? that might make the area liable to tear I presume? Blood on TP and quite a bit of pain during BM for the first time today too - think they're related.. arghhhhh....

Sorry to hear your bum ruined your weekend.
Go easy on the pulling around down there while you're so sore. Maybe a tiny bit of sudocream could help?

OMB x

Ok so I feel this warrants a post. I'm sat at my PC for the first time in a month with NO PAIN!!!

not sure what's happened or what I've done but I've not been using any cream apart from one dose of canestan last week. I've had 2 days off work so that might be it, I'm worried when I go back tomorrow I will be back to square one however I'm taking in every minute of this loveliness! I still get a twinge when I stand up/walk but it's no way the same as what I've been through recently. I don't know whats next for me but I'm savouring every good day that comes.

take care of yourselves, until next time.

J x

Glad to hear you are able to enjoy some things you haven't been able to for a while FF. I know what you mean by savouring them as you don't know what may be lurking around the corner. May the better days continue for you.

thanks MS, today hasn't been wonderful like the weekend - I think I'm allergic to work! lol. anywho I've been trying to pinpoint why/when my pain comes on. bowl movements relatively ok in the most part but then hours later sat on my work chair it can suddenly feel like a mini tear when I move and like now the area feels sore again. I just don't get it! maybe the skin has healed over the fissure but there's still some damage under the healing tissue. I dont get itttttt.

but I still must count my lucky stars that I'm not... ok so the hot water I was just sat on popped!!! OW. Hot water.

anyway, I must count my lucky stars that today hasn't been too bad until just now.

J

Do you know what, I've had the exact same symptoms today. I was helping my husband decorating, stopped for lunch then I felt a tear type pain. It has been oddly painful ever since. I've had my wheat bag on this afternoon.... Bit safer than a hot water bottle !lol...... I hope you didn't burn your nether regions???

I really wish I knew why our bums made these sensations, as I'm allegedly healed too!

OMB x