I think some setbacks today but trying to stay calm and feel good about the progress so far.

Oh no..hope it's nothing too bad, it's so hard when it's things out of your control that can affect you.
If you had a bad arm, it wouldn't matter if you had a stressful day or had to sit down too long or was in a position where you couldn't eat the right things for you.
Don't worry you were moving consistently forwards so I'm sure you will be back on track soon

No it's nothing too bad just a little worsening in bleeding and a little more pain. More mental than physical - the impact it had.
Also following some threads on this forum ( because I was not exactly sure what set off my fissure this time as have not really had constipation though life has been busy and stressful ) had a meeting with a GYN to see if estrogen lack could be doing this and To see if creams help -she suggested all kinds of tests first telling me the sudden change in my menstrual cycles is concerning and she thinks I am too young at 39 /40 for menopause ( oh well atleast someone thinks I am too young for something lol) and I got my estrogen cream but have this whole panel of tests done to look for whether I may have ovarian cysts etc. oh well. I rather think I don't really have any GYN problems as I haven't had too many symptoms but agreed to have all the tests as long as they are not painful to fissure dearest.
On a happier note was told I can go ahead and use the estrogen cream for the fissure to see if it helped heal it fully if Botox doesn't do it. I am still wondering whether to start it.

Oh glad it's not too bad then,
Hopefully you won't have any GYN problems as you don't need anymore issues in that area.
ooh please do let me know how the estero gene cream goes as I know I will need more than Botox to fix mine, want to make it as small as possible before I have to have the LIS. Have you heard good reviews about the estrogen cream?

I must say that no doctor I asked has heard of it - not my colorectal surgeon not my GYN ( five months ago I could claim I had not seen a doc in 5 years - now I see one subspecialist every 5 weeks lol!) I read about Estrase cream here on this forum. Some posts by a person who sounded very knowledgeable scientist2516 I believe. I saw several threads where it was mentioned. I have not seen her post back recently but I was impressed by the fact that it was used according to her in some non healing wounds. And though she deniers several times that there is any proof it works she felt it may have worked for her. Try the search button and estrogen or oestrogen. Please do not assume I am recommending it in anyway. But I think I know you well enough now to say as a friend I think it's ok to try it. Yesterday it seemed to sting a little - today I just put it on prior to bedtime and so far feels ok. Today was a really tiring day and I haven't had time to unwind, so maybe estrogen cream will also work as a sedative and help me relax - who knows ?!

Well yet another day. Always 1 step forward and half step back! Still with a little bleeding and some pain. Also some burning sort of discomfort through the day and occasional mysterious sharp pinching sensations down there. What in the world could be happening now? I supposed spasms to pinches is still considered progress?!!Staying loyal to my diet and my positive side. Managed another long work day. I am kind of getting tired of my diary so will take a break from it for a few days. I will still meet my friends on their posts. I realized that Botox progress is measured week to week or month to month rather than daily. Till later!

Hi HTD,
Sorry to hear it's not been a great day and yes like you say progress with Botox is very slow and requires patience and positivity, it's great you have both.
Maybe the pinching is the fissure healing as that seems a new pain for you?
Hope all goes well in the coming weeks
X

Ok friends first I haven't been writing in this diary as I have been doing worse and did not want to scare all my friends. More pain more bleeding and plug effect despite all my care about diet and hydration . A few days ago I bought a mirror and started to look a lot at my behind and realized that it's not a smart thing for me to do as i started getting more and more worried with every change I saw and made me very tense as I was going - so much for imagery - seeing all the wrong stuff float up in my imagination did not help . I am still better than I was pre Botox despite setbacks. My new strategy is magnesium oxide and Vaseline . So many creams to sequence. Will write back to update soon. Boy staying positive is hard work. Best wishes to all my fellow sufferers

Oh no, but positive thoughts at least it's not as bad as before the Botox and still no spasms.
Just a thought and you are probably already doing it, but my CRS told me never ever to use toilet paper, he even said to take a bottle of water with me when I go out, now I haven't gone that far but I don't use toilet paper at home anymore...I asked him why as my fissure is high up and his reply was...if you had a cut on your hand that wouldn't heal would you keep wiping it and pulling the skin around it our skin down there is thinner and doesn't need the pressure of toilet paper.
Sorry for the long description but I needed a bit of convincing not to use it as I'm a bit OCD about being clean down there lol
Stay positive we will beat these irritating things x

Thanks MPB. Yes I am careful about not using toilet paper. Today was my worst day in the past 5 days. In all honesty I haven't been able to walk proper for 2 days for 4 or 5 hours after and my body seems exhausted and racked up with pain and the sight of blood again. Today more blood BM than ever. It was even more than some of my pre Botox days. I called in sick today as I am sure I will waddle around too much and I am also feeling like a "cry baby." I was glad to hear from my CRS that the pain and bleeding keep recurring ( not glad exactly but learned it is part of the deal) except that I am now 4 weeks out and I guess I was hoping for more. In addition the constant pathway down has been getting to me. It's getting harder to be positive but will keep trying. I don't believe there is any other way - can't fix fissure dearest without blood sweat toil tears discipline and a dash of positivity powder every single day. Sigh.
Today is liquid diet day.