by GilmoreGirl » 20 Apr 2017, 16:09
Ugh and longer still.
I had a long visit with the surgeon and a painful rectal exam. The X-ray shows stool in the rectum but she can't feel it easily - so says I may have a prolapse or rectocoele. I have long suspected this - I can feel the stool stuck in there but when I push it just pushes it into this pouch and doesn't line up with the anus - so nothing is signalled to relax properly and I could push forever and only make the problem worse. After this is resolved she will send me to a colorectal special unit at another hospital that's less local. Sounds like more tests and hell to come.
I was told to take the full dose of the peglyte and if there is no effect by 1:00 pm tomorrow then I will have to go back to emergency. My surgeon will be there, so I'm to get them to call her to see me. Then they may sedate and try manual disimpaction.
But she's not convinced all the blockage is in the rectum, she says I likely have a lot more solid stool to come. So if this works or doesn't, I'm in for a horrible few days.
I'm quite upset because I had to beg her to give me an option besides just drinking this stuff. She wanted to just send me home to drink it, and then call her office next week - meaning 4 days from now - if I still need help. I said I needed something done before the weekend as I can no longer stomach food and can barely drink.
And also - the emergency room doctor (who was great) said that number one thing would be to manage my pain - take the morphine on schedule all times and double if needed. This way, there will be less pain when going and the muscle can relax a little better.
But my surgeon said to stop the morphine cold turkey right now because it's constipating.
I don't really know how in hell they expect me to pass a colon full of stool (which will likely be half hard stool and half liquid diarrhea - neither is good) without any pain management beyond Tylenol.
I phoned back when I got home and told her assistant that I will try and take as little as possible, but that I'm not going to guarantee that I won't take any. I'm planning on trying half every 4-6 hours at first, if I start going I can up the dose to 5 mg.
Meanwhile my mother is angry at me because I'm not planning on strictly following the surgeons orders...but I have had over half a year of pain and I'm not putting myself through this for days on end without any relief.
I'm petrified right now - have taken an Ativan as I was starting to have difficulty breathing.
I don't feel looked after, I don't know why something more immediate can't be done to help, like an enema under sedation even. And I'm now facing a possible new issue, along with the new hemorrhoids I've gotten since the surgery.
I have such a desire to just end this horrible life right now it's scaring me too. If this is going to be how it is now, I can't do it