Hugs to you Pinky

It is vital that any person suffering from chronic pain understand that depression is an ugly step-sister that visits from time to time, and steps should "always" be taken to deal with the depression. No need to preach about anti-depressives and proper nutrition, you all know it better than me. That is perhaps the primary function of this website, anyway.
That's why I get upset when I hear some of you (more than one of you) say you will, or might, stop posting because your surgery didn't work, or because you cannot set a good example. Heal, get your life back, and then leave, if you must. But as long as you're down, you need to share that. Not only for yourself, as a release valve perhaps, but someone considering surgery or any option needs to know the reality that it may not be straightforward -- and others need to see they are not alone in this miserable suffering we call AF and it's related maladies.
We're all in this together and we're all here for each other and that's why this boards rocks!

val i doubt it's any easier being younger. i don't just have "myself" to look after. i have a group of friends i've completely abandoned, a boyfriend i can't be intimate with, a family who can't stand to see my suffering, cats i can't take care of...i haven't been able to start a career b/c i'm worried my constant surgeries will interfere...the list goes on. i try not to wallow in self pity, in fact this is pretty much the only place i let myself "wallow". i'm an old woman at 26, and i've been this way for the last 2 years. i'd rather have had 50 or 60 years of good health than deal with this at my age. while i don't think anyone should ever have to deal with this, i seriously doubt it's easier being younger. i think that was an insensitive thing of you to say.

my point wasn't that it was easier to be younger, I just feel that you only ever have sympathy for anyone who is young and going through this and that anyone over the age of about 30 has already had their best years and it doesn't matter that we are going through agony because we are somehow old, decrepit and "past it". All the things you have mentioned above, intimacy with SO, abandoned friends, family seeing you suffering, pets etc. - we ALL have those issues, whether we are young or old, and like I say us "old" people have children to take care of too - a baby does not stop screaming in the night just because mum is in pain. We ALL put our social life on hold, we are ALL suffering, our pain shouldn't be written off just because we are older than you.
I find your words equally as insensitive and offensive as you find mine.
Having said that, I wish you every success with your surgery tomorrow and truly hope that it is the end of this nightmare for you. You deserve, as does everybody here, a life that is free of any kind of chronic pain and I sincerely hope you get all your problems sorted out forever tomorrow.

I think pain sucks no matter what age. We are just in different stages with different responsilbilities all equal to where we are in life. I couldn't imagine getting this at any age.

So let's agree it sucks big time regardless of age.

As far as depression goes, wow-who wouln'dt be depressed after living with chronic pain. Pain depletes biochemically your serotonin levels so you are at a disadvantage right there. It can be treated with anti-depressants, which I take, but as you all know it isn't a cure-all as I am not bouncing around like Tigger or anything but it does help me climb out of the dark valleys and has helped me to get the thought of suicide out of my head.

Now let's all kiss and make-up. (NO TONGUE)

well i felt like an old man at 37 but i am still hoping to turn back time and keep helping my body (i guess is should stop eating that fried chicken huh!?) to get better than it has ever been.
well really i think my best that i had ever been was when i was training for my first marathon when i was 29. i was in my best shape ever.
now if i could be so lucky.
but i aspire to be like those amazing 60 and 70 and 80 year old peeps out there still running, doing marathons, and have amazing bodies...it puts mine to shame......
**
i never thought i would be dealing with something as a fissure as bad as it got when i was 34 through being 37.
but i tried to keep it together and get through it and in between that time still did 2 marathons and traveled to lovely places.
**
i wish everyone peace, success in their surgeries and regimens, and that we all are in this together.
kisses and hugs.

val i don't only have sympathy for anyone "under 30" and i would never "Write off" anyone else's pain. i'm sorry if you've interpreted my words that way.
maybe it seems as though i feel more sympathy for people in my age group just b/c i can related more to them and am more inclined to respond to their postings so people my age know they're not alone. there aren't that many of us unmarried, without children, and in our 20s on here, so i'd like to be a support system for them as much as possible. i hope this doesn't offend you any more! i also hope no one besides you has misinterpreted my sympathies. this problem seriously sucks for anyone dealing with it, whether they
are 5 years old or 500. everyone's experience is different, but it is
awful all the same, i know that without a doubt.
i'm hoping, like everyone else, to put this behind me one day and move on to do the things i haven't yet been able to do - like get married and have children and experience all those other things so many people do in their life. i have only the best hopes for everyone else as well, no matter what their age!
thanks for the surgery well-wishes by the way.

I absolutely agree with everything said above - pain robs life of everybody - no matter what age , gender , social status, and what not. I feel same sorrow looking at baby in pain as well as at 90 year
old - they suffer needlessly and there is absolutely no difference in that ! Ask young or old on their death bed would they like to live just one more year - both will say yes and with equal hope and eagerness - soul never ages - only our body. One can be 18 and completely alone and want to die since he/she is alone because of pain, and one can be middle aged and want to die because he/she can not provide love and care and support to their family since it is a BIG chunk of what their life is all about.
We should feel equal empty toward all members and give support
as much as we can - in pain or less pain or completely healed . As Kim said , that is what makes this forum special and different from all others and it must stay this way. There should be no more reference to age in my opinion - that way all misunderstandings would be avoided - and it is nice to hear that they were misunderstandings and sometimes it is good that we talk about all and share here all that is bothering us - since only that way we can resolve all issues : ) !!!
Juney _ I hope you understand that Val did not try to offend you in any way , shape or form , but was just trying to make you stop making reference to age since it is irrelevant and we all should give support to each other , no matter what : ) !!!
Lecia - why you always spoil the fun ??LOL
Val - buddy , there is not a "bad bone" in you and I hope you will be understood correctly
Lars - just disregard this "girl talk" - that is what we do ALL the time ha ha, are you sure you WANT a girlfriend LOL ???
Kim- buddy - I know you feel like eating that mushroom now - but please don't LOL - go watch the stars !!!
LOVE TO ALL _ YOUNG AN "OLD"
And yes Juney - we all here pray for you an earnestly wish that you get rid of that idiotic pain now and forever and have family and babies and live to be a 100 !!!! Get well and give us all hope - OK ???

brilliantly well said Fissy - as always! You really should either be a writer or a commedienne!

Got the date for surgury today. It`s the 30 this month. I can`t belive how fast they are handeling things at that hospital :) My CRS will do a anascopy first before he does the surgury. He didn`t do it last time because my whole area is blocked because of spasm pain. He will do this just to rule out other complications.
At the other hospital I still haven`t gotten a date for the manometri test and my appointment in october got cancelled...I am shocked that they can treat me so badly...