Corsi,are your BMs hard?you can increase the movicol or add something else like magnesium or flaxoil.im taking magnesium and its helping me to keep BMs soft.havent tried flaxoil still.i feel movicol sometimes doesnt help to my experience.somedays the poops are very soft and somedays hard.im sorry to know if you are in pain.when's ur appt with the crs?As kim says,u will be fine if you opt for the surgery.we are here for you.

Corsi-have you tried taking MOM yet? Just a small sip?
I know what you mean. I can tell within seconds of starting whether this is going to be a good poop day or a bad one. I am sorry you are back in pain again. Even on the good days you begin to wonder how long it will last.
Tabby-that is great news that you have healed so well. One more shot shold do it for you. I am so glad you responded so well.

Corsi - so sorry :( to hear you are in pain again!!! I can still remember that awful feeling : (((. I do not think I will ever forget it It was especially maddening after long good period since not only my hopes got crushed but also because I had a chance to experience pain free life again and see how "grand" it could be .
Don't be afraid of the surgery ,if comes to that - MOST people heal fast and forever !!! Even though I sometimes still experience some tiny pinch or irritation and had 2 surgeries - I would choose to do them all over again. LIS gave me my life back - maybe not 100%, but 90% is a sweet deal ; ))) !!!!
Tabby - I had my both surgeries with "twilight" - I must have been "jumping" like possessed on that table - joking to the side, heavy sedation puts us in DEEEEEEEP sleep - no chance of making any moves. I am sure you can find a lot of info on the net about all methods that knock us out
All the best

Thank you Tabby, Kim, Cheryl, Pinky, Lecia & Fissy :lovetree:
I took 1 1/2 sachet of Movicol last night, and I will continue to do so...
I don't know if the Botox works this time Tabby, the only thing I know is that if I eat (drink!) something not liquid the first 2 meals, BMs are painful and there is blood there again . Today is the 3rd day with blood, painful BM and pain during the day....

Fissulyna wrote: I can still remember that awful feeling : (((. I do not think I will ever forget it It was especially maddening after long good period since not only my hopes got crushed but also because I had a chance to experience pain free life again and see how "grand" it could be .

You describe it so well Fissy, all my hopes of healing and going back to work are crushed...and yes I had a taste of days with less pain and discomfort. Hoped to get my life back and also I hoped not to be a problem for my family.

Bootychops wrote:Corsi-have you tried taking MOM yet? Just a small sip?
I know what you mean. I can tell within seconds of starting whether this is going to be a good poop day or a bad one. I am sorry you are back in pain again. Even on the good days you begin to wonder how long it will last.

No Lecia, I haven't taken MOM yet, but I am looking at the bottle every day... :) Can I take it together with Movicol?
I agree, it doesn't take long to know if BMs will be OK or Can relate to everything you write Lecia...
Kim & Fissy, I too think that LIS will be OK if I were to do that....my CRS fears incontinence, but really this is no life: liquid food, nutridrinks from the pharmacy and very little food, pain, discomfort and blood.
No Pinky my BMs are not hard, only a bit formed and that causes blood. I must be too tight? Why else should I have problems getting small formed pooh out. Why else have I bled for 8-9 years?
If I didn't have my family I don't know what would be the reason to still be around. Not saying that to get sympathy, it's just the way I feel. I feel like waste of space.
Pinky, the plan is that I should go back in January, but I think that I will call him next week to explain how things are and maybe he will consider LIS in January if things are not healed then... ....and pigs might fly!
Bloody Mary :flush:

i just wanted to say...... corsi..... i feel the same way as you... and if you ever need someone to scream with....... IM HERE

Corsi,
You sound like you are getting depressed. Don't give up hope. I think this anti-depressant I am taking is really helping me. You are not yet at the end of the road of things to try. You do not have a life threatening condition and will eventually get cured from your situation. It might be more beneficial if you divide the Movicol into two doses. That works better for me (afternoon and bedtime). Just a suggestion. I'll ask Dwight to pray for you like he is doing for Jared. And I will add you to my prayers also. Try not to get discouraged, but I KNOW it is easy to say, but not always easy to DO!!
Cheryl
:nevergive:

you do sound depressed corsi. i'm sorry you're so frustrated, i know the feeling and it's horrible. i've been on prozac for 2 1/2 weeks now and it has made so much difference in my mood. despite the butt pain, i'm better able to function and be around people now...and i don't think about killing myself everyday like i was last month. there are so many reasons for you to enjoy your life and the fissure shouldn't get in the way of it completely. please consider taking something if youre not already. it's hard to be patient and these things take FOREVER to heal, sometimes we just need something to help keep us sane while we wait....i'm still waiting and it's been a loooong time but i still have hope. keep your chin up and healing will come one day!!!

I am here too Corsi
I am so sorry to hear you so down
What the heck is going on !!!!
Could it be the Botox has not worked this time I think you are right to call your CRS next week if things don’t ease up !
Stick with that dose of movicol, I think what Cheryl has suggested about spitting the dose AM and PM might be of benefit, Can you try the nitro before your BM to help with the tight feeling?
God give strength to our Corsi !!
:thinkofyou:

You can take movicol and MOM in the same day. I do and have for a year and a half. I would try the movicol in the and the MOM in the PM. I know how scary it is to test the waters but it couldn't be any worse than what you are going through now.
I can understand the feelings of despair and have battled with what kind of life can I have and if it is like this then I don't want it. My husband had to physically restrain me to keep me from killing myself after my hem surery didn't heal and I was in such great pain.
I think the surgery would be a good bet for you. It does seem like if you are in that much pain and bleed from a soft poop then something is not right. I worry about your nutrition but understan where you come from. I got down to 94 pounds (my normal weight is 115-120)during the worst of this because food that became poop was the enemy. And part of me wanted to die. I wished that AF/hems etc were fatal. Then at least I would get some sympathy and good drugs and ride up into the sunset and know it would be over. I am sorry. I know how you feel but what I keep telling myself is that if I felt good before it IS possible and that it will come again. But it does seem like your sphincter is so tight that even a soft stool is causing you too much pain. I think they need to maybe just press on with the surgery.
Please don't give up though. I couldnt go on if anyone of you weren't here. You are important just because of your being not what you can be doing.

I don’t like to think about your dark place Lecia :(
Corsi I am so sad you even consider yourself a waste of space
My botox buddy I will pray for you that this comes right – That final part of healing ..Remember that !!
I hate that what we suffer turns our world upside down like this
We must never forget the positives in our life’s - The simple things....
Sending hugs to all