Well....Jan 21rst is the date. I don't know how I'll make it another month....but I guess I've already gone 4.5 months. I'm also terrified....absolutely terrified!
I had an appointment with my CRS last Thursday and when he told me I wouldn't be able to get this done before the New Year I had a major meltdown.....I mean major. I told him some days are so bad that when I go to sleep at night I hope I don't wake up in the morning. My husband and baby were with me for the appt. He called over to the other hospital while I was in his office because he wanted me to be seen by a shrink ASAP. What a waste of time it was....I keep telling them that if I had no pain I'd be a heck of a lot better! Of course their answer is always that I have to wait. Anyway, it sounds worse than it actually is....you know how you say things in the heat of the moment. And being stressed out makes the pain so much worse. I will be taking the opportunity to talk with someone once the pain is done since I know I have to emotionally deal with the issues I have surrounding not being a good mother. This has stolen the joy out of being a first-time mom. This is not how I imagined the first 6 months of motherhood.....
I am happy to report that the spasms seem to be decreasing in length. They seem to come about 2 hours after a BM and last for about 3-4 hours down from 6-8 hours. I stopped taking MOM because it was making things way to mushy....not good. I've also eaten a bit more in the last few days.
Are there any other moms on the board who have had the surgery after a vaginal birth? My CRS has made me aware that I'm at higher risk of incontinence being female and have had a vaginal birth....this is why I'm so terrified. Basically he told me the risk of being incontinent to stool is uncommon but incontinence to gas is common. The later I can handle no problem.
Sorry this was so long. I hope everyone has a lovely holiday season!!
Tamara