Well ... I had to jinx myself didn't I! Today was a bad day!
First BM was just a little bit too firm, and accompanied by that old familiar feeling - that about to tear feeling, which was quickly followed by that actual tear feeling.
I can't believe it! I thought the LIS was supposed to stop me tearing back there. Before I even had the BM I could feel that enormously stretched feeling again. It felt like it was about to tear, and then it did. There was pain and some blood.
I got on the phone to my CRS right away and she said I could come to see her. When I climbed onto the table and spread em’ she had a look and said that everything actually looked pretty good.
We had a chat, and I told her that, of course, my main concern at this point, was that the op had been unsuccessful. She said that the LIS had fixed the problem with the spasming sphincter muscle, but that we still needed to get that troublesome fissure to heal. She said that this was not a sign that the op had not worked. Of course, I knew that the op wasn't going to be an instant fix, but I thought (I suppose naively) that I would be free of this re-tear business right away. I guess I was wrong! She gave me some glycerin suppositories to use before BMs and said that I just had to be really kind to the area until the fissure closes. She said that could take a couple of weeks, but I know from peoples experiences here, that it might take a bit longer than that.
Despite her reassurances, I’m worried! As of today, I feel the same (physically and emotionally) as I did before the surgery. God, I hope she’s right about this!
Sorry to be so doom and gloom.