Worrier, it brings tears to my eyes reading your posts. I dont wanna seem like a bad person, but it does help knowing that I'm not the only person in the world struggling with the mental side of having a fissure. I havent had the surgery yet, but am hopefully getting it done in about three weeks. I feel like the world doesnt make sense anymore, even if I have a good day I keep all my focus on my butt.. Thinking it will never be the way it used to be. I cry for hours every day, thinking this will never end.. and it doesnt help when the doctors/surgeons dont listen.
Not much advice from me, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this struggle. I hope you hang in there.
I highly recommend something for your anxiety. Valium works for me when I'm at my lowest.