Wounded Spirit's Diary

A place for you to keep a record of your healing or surgery.

Return to Diaries




Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby woundedspirit » 16 Sep 2014, 21:38

Bad day. Had to go twice today. Bad bad day. :( :( :(


Afraid of dying?
Oh no my dear friend.
It's living I fear,
this life with no end.

No end to the days
filled only by pain.
And remembering a life
I fight to regain.

Oh options you say?
All disappearing.
No easy way out,
that's what I'm fearing.

Fearing the choices
now only a few.
Even choosing the best
will be hell to go through.

Afraid of dying?
Oh no my dear friend.
It's living I fear,
this life with no end.
Hemorrhoid Surgery
Scar Tissue
2 Anal Fissures
Failure of All Topical Treatments
Failed LIS
[size=85]EUA and Fissurectomy
Hoping to avoid Flap Surgery
woundedspirit
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 287
Topics: 12
Joined: 14 Jan 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby woundedspirit » 16 Sep 2014, 22:00

I will trust in Thee Oh God to sustain me through another day. It is only through your mercy I can endure. Give me the wisdom to bring an end to my suffering. Hear the cries of your child dear God. I am not special to be immune to suffering for there are many who suffer. Let your peace be within me and let rest come to me this night that I may be strengthened for tomorrow. Amen.
Last edited by woundedspirit on 17 Sep 2014, 09:36, edited 1 time in total.
Hemorrhoid Surgery
Scar Tissue
2 Anal Fissures
Failure of All Topical Treatments
Failed LIS
[size=85]EUA and Fissurectomy
Hoping to avoid Flap Surgery
woundedspirit
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 287
Topics: 12
Joined: 14 Jan 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby msimon » 16 Sep 2014, 22:06

Aww, sorry to hear you are doing poorly again Woundedspirit. You poem sums up how I am feeling perfectly. I have been having worse and worse days myself and am tortured over making the decision for surgery or not.

May God watch over you in your time of need and give you some guidance.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
msimon
Moderator
 
Posts: 1343
Topics: 64
Joined: 08 Aug 2014, 19:38
Has thanked: 76 times
Been thanked: 154 times
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby Datura » 17 Sep 2014, 04:26

I'm sorry things are bad for you wounded spirit. Sending strength and hugs to you.
User avatar
Datura
Fibre Addict
 
Posts: 24
Topics: 1
Joined: 26 Aug 2014, 05:09
Has thanked: 8 times
Been thanked: 1 time
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby owmybum » 17 Sep 2014, 06:29

Simply heart breaking W's.
Your poem speaks for us all I think!!
We should all send a copy to our CRSs !!

I hope you can get back on track soon
Xxxx
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
User avatar
owmybum
Moderator
 
Posts: 2826
Topics: 42
Joined: 16 Sep 2012, 16:00
Location: UK
Has thanked: 205 times
Been thanked: 154 times
Gender: Female
Mood: UGH !

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby woundedspirit » 17 Sep 2014, 10:11

Thank you so much msimon. So hard to make these decisions with no sure outcomes. How can people who have not gone through this understand? I hope you are doing okay today. Sending (((hugs))) right back Datura. OMB - so glad my sorrow is understood. Somehow it helps. I think your right. Maybe it would remind some of these dr's of the human element in all this anal fissure business.
Hemorrhoid Surgery
Scar Tissue
2 Anal Fissures
Failure of All Topical Treatments
Failed LIS
[size=85]EUA and Fissurectomy
Hoping to avoid Flap Surgery
woundedspirit
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 287
Topics: 12
Joined: 14 Jan 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby woundedspirit » 17 Sep 2014, 10:14

Reminder to self - no multi-grain oatmeal. Ever again.
Will try to force some food down today. Totally lose my appetite when I feel like this.
Hemorrhoid Surgery
Scar Tissue
2 Anal Fissures
Failure of All Topical Treatments
Failed LIS
[size=85]EUA and Fissurectomy
Hoping to avoid Flap Surgery
woundedspirit
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 287
Topics: 12
Joined: 14 Jan 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby woundedspirit » 17 Sep 2014, 12:35

I am going to double up on Miralax until I get through this one. God I am in so much pain!!!!!! I can't get on top of it. I've done everything I know how to do. All I can do is lay on my side with my phone. Nothing is working. Soaked lidocaine pain med. maybe a heating pad. Maybe something has gotten worse. If this doesn't calm down I'm going to have to call the dr.
Hemorrhoid Surgery
Scar Tissue
2 Anal Fissures
Failure of All Topical Treatments
Failed LIS
[size=85]EUA and Fissurectomy
Hoping to avoid Flap Surgery
woundedspirit
Proctosphincteranalogist
 
Posts: 287
Topics: 12
Joined: 14 Jan 2013, 17:00
Has thanked: 6 times
Been thanked: 11 times
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby msimon » 17 Sep 2014, 14:30

Thanks Woundedspirit. I am so sorry to hear you are still having a tough time. I too am having another bad day. I'm sending healing wishes your way.
Dec '13 Fissure from anoscope
3 X internal sphincter botox
'08-'15 Botox for pelvic floor dysfunction
Nov '14 LIS/sentinel tag removal
Feb '15 Deroofing of recurrent infection from LIS
summer '15-healed but still ongoing muscle dysfunction/pain
msimon
Moderator
 
Posts: 1343
Topics: 64
Joined: 08 Aug 2014, 19:38
Has thanked: 76 times
Been thanked: 154 times
Gender: Female

Re: Wounded Spirit's Diary

Postby owmybum » 17 Sep 2014, 15:07

These days are the toughest of days...... Just keep the better ones in the front of your mind... You will have them again. My day yesterday was painful and miserable... But today is not so bad.... And I feel so much happier again.
I'm hoping things will be different for you tomorrow.


Don't loose all hope,
And give in to the pain,
I'm sure better days,
Will bestow you again.

OMB xxx
fissure after hem banding and tag removal feb 11
Pelvic floor therapy
Diltiazem
Botox June 13
Nitro
Internal flap July 14
EUA and polyps removed Nov 14
Diagnosed with neuropathy Jan 15
Diagnosed with HS EDS type 3 (causes poor wound healing )
User avatar
owmybum
Moderator
 
Posts: 2826
Topics: 42
Joined: 16 Sep 2012, 16:00
Location: UK
Has thanked: 205 times
Been thanked: 154 times
Gender: Female
Mood: UGH !


  • Similar Topics
    Replies
    Views
    Last post

Return to Diaries



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests