From what you are describing Hun it sounds very similar to mine...I could feel my stitches inside too.
My surgeon is one of the best I haven't asked him why he did it that way all I know is after the first incident after my flare. I have had no pain at all from the incision site and not even a hint of infection.
I think the pain is probably due to the swelling mine was horrendous and I remembered the pain did decrease significantly one the swelling went down. Unfortunately everyone's body reacts differently and what took me 3/5 days could take another person 7.
Hang in there Hun

Hopefully I'm the same chachacha. I keep having the urge to go, I just tried in a warm sitz bath and felt carefully with my pinky and there is literally not even a millimetre sized opening there. It's shut completely. It's making me panic because my stomach is grumbling more every hour but I know i cannot push a bm out of that minuscule area without having to really strain and likely injure the area. Even after trying a small push to try and release gas or whatever is causing the intense pressure, I'm even more sore. Can't even manage the sitz baths they hurt too much. don't know why my case seems so different I just don't get it, I figured my recovery would be comparable to most

Just to ease your mind a bit when I was in complete agony and could not get a qtip up there my sphincter did relax to let a BM out....yes it was painful but it did come out. I think that's because as you know the internal sphincter isn't under our control. Once you need a BM it will open even if the swelling makes it a bit tighter.

GG, I panicked and messaged MPB and she was right, in a week it was better, internal muscle is involuntary so it will work on it's own -took me 3 days.! What I had to remember was is that the pain in this area is so out of proportion to the injury/procedure compared to other area's of the body, that it creates such intense fear and anxiety and panic.

Remember it is not serious. It will go away and you will be okay. Kind of make it your mantra no matter what it feels like. I'm still doing this!! I never thought that swelling and closed shut feeling or those hideous spasms would subside but it does get better. During sleep our cells rebuild, lot's of rest, No pressure on your self .I never thought I should get sick or be in pain. But it happens and then we heal. Smiles and hugs to you..

Yes guys I think you're right. Woke up from a nap with even more pressure and went and pushed very slowly on the toilet and more completely liquid diarrhea came out. My belly is not feeling good, I'm super nauseous, feel like there's going to be a disaster out my back end any minute.

I think she may have given me antibiotics during the surgery, could this be why? I don't get how I can be eating just ensure, taking morphine 24/7 and amitryptiline once a day and have such bad D. At least I got something out of my system but we all know how much this type of bm burns and is difficult to tidy. And it leaves me feeling nauseous. But it did make me feel better about having to go, when the time comes.

And hurt spoke to the surgeons assistant - he said the diarrhea is likely from the anesthesia and should be gone by Saturday. He says if i don't have diarrhea anymore and my stomach feels better on Saturday, then to take colace (which I find less crampy than miralax). He says my diet of ensure is totally fine right now and I don't want to add to much bulk anyways.

Gosh this is really hard

at least you managed to go Hun even if it is D it does reassure you that your body will work.
Again remember what your putting in...just build up drinks means less BMs for most people anyway. Listen to your body Hun and do what feels right for you
Hoping it calms down for you Hun and you get a restful nights sleep

Hi I am learning, Our bowels are affected by our nervous system and surgery is an ordeal so everything has to calm down a bit. Plus whatever else is in your system that is disagreeing with it from the procedure. But with every passing hour your that much closer to getting past it.

Lots of sleep and rest!!!

Once we do this we will invincible!!! It is harder than hard.. I am sure none of us ever dreamed we would have to get through something as difficult as this.. Sure does make us stronger that's for sure. Not everyone can do this and get through it but we can.

Well said mama...I couldn't agree more. Never in my life did I think pain could get to this level. But we are getting through it and are stronger as a result.
Keep going GG you were there for us when we were in our agony we are all there for you now. When you are in pain please know that we are beside you holding your hand...knowing you will get through this