I love your attitude, Sidra!
And more good news for the Illini nation! (McCamey and Davis staying next year)

Hey Sidra, alright thanks, I'm glad that others have had the same thing before. Maybe there's a ton of normal people walking around with these things, I dunno lol
Just outta curiosity, was yours real hard and big in the beginning too? I kind of expected to get some kind of skin tag from the trauma that surgery causes to the area, but I didn't expect something this hard and big as a result. Granted it's only been a week since surgery...
I'm waiting for today's first BM to grace me with its presence so I can see if the bump gets worse before calling the doc to sound like a hypochondriac :)
It's definitely not infected, in fact I can touch it and sit on it without causing any discomfort at all, I just wish the post-op care sheet said something like "please expect an enormous hard bump on your anus to appear, that's perfectly normal" haha.

Ok just talked to the doc, and all the responses here could've save me a call to the doc lol. She basically said the exact same thing you guys did: that the only real thing to worry about is an infection, and that otherwise it just sounds like some swelling that's a normal part of the healing process.
Actually her exact words were to let her know right away if the bump gets tender, painful to the touch, or has foul discharge, and that "you'll know if it's infected." I thought hrm where have I heard that before hahahaha.
So okay, it's wait and see time I guess. Although this thing doesn't hurt and doesn't show any overt signs that should raise any alarms, I'm going to be obsessed with it for a while, knowing my personality. Hope this sucker starts shrinking soon, even if it's harmless it's going to make cleaning that area a little more "interesting" than I'd like once I go back and work and don't have the luxury of hopping right into the bathtub after every poo poo.

You see : )))) *HUGS
Ha ha haaaaa- of course there is a ton of people going around with all kind of things , bumps, cysts, polyps, infections , cuts, abrasions, allergies, skin disorders, cancer,inflammations,leakage - and all of that just regarding one part of the body - butt
But, regardless of that fact - it is not of any comfort to know that yes, other people suffer too : (((. When we are in pain - that tends to become a focus and it is normal - it was made that way for evolutionary reasons so we would take care of a wound and get better. Unfortunately, some wounds need longer time to heal and our "inner caveman" panics since he/she knows that only the strongest survive .
Any worry is normal and any "blues" are absolutely bound to happen since pain robs us from the joy of life and than what ...
It is very hard to live with any chronic pain and it a shame that today's medicine is not focused more on that research and that pharmaceutical industry with all of those billions and billions of $$$$ is not capable of producing better ADs and better pain meds
But - to come back to NG's problem - NG - that bump will go away - no question about it ! This week you will start to notice real improvements , little by little. You are over the hump and you can expect only to get better and better ; ))) !!!!! KTW
I wish I could describe to you how my anus looked after the SECND LIS lol - first one was a walk in the park LMAO !
So- if that healed buddy - anything can heal LOL - and the only thing that might stay as a "side effect" of your bump would be a tiny skin-tag.
You are not a hypochondriac - I called my first CRS to complain about the look of my anus and he dismissed it so I came to your doctor and she informed that yes- needle did hit my vein and I got outside hemmie - so BUT - it did go away with no problem whatsoever. I think that there is a difference between a "naturally" occurring hemmie when it happens due to vein enlargement and one that is a result of mechanical injury (as with a needle) - it is just than a swelling an will deflate slowly as all other parts of that area deflate ; ))) !
It is so much going on in your life right now that it is absolutely no wonder that you are so much stressed out : ((
I wish I can give you an advice or help - the only thing that helps me is LITERARY living one day at a time - all worries of today are enough for today and I take care of things for that day and survive whatever it is and than let go ... We can not control the future - whatever will happen will happen ... we can only take care of today
JC was so right about that ; ))) - I like the man more and more every day. So many good directions of how to live and stay sane - no matter if somebody believes of what happened after the cross - his wisdom is infinite, as is of some other teachers and prophets.
To calm the mind you have to use the mind and give it what comforts it - if it is a listening to healing affirmations and music - than let it be that . If it is just sitting calm and day-dreaming - do that, if it is dancing - than dance , or walk , or run, or sit and do breathing exercises - you HAVE TO find a venue for your mind to find a "peace of mind" and no "way" is the right way - only what calms you is FOR YOU the right way - and Valium and AD can only superficially take the edge of the pain - real calm you have to find "inside". And you already did , as you said, overcame OCD and anxiety to the most part - so you instinctively know that that is the best way. You just need to take a time for yourself and try to find daily activity that will bring you calm. Do you like to doodle ??? : )) Draw ??? Do cross-word puzzles ??? Origami ??? LOL You have to find a "vent" and talk things over with somebody also. A good friend, wife or a therapist would all be a good choice !!!
You are doing well in all respects considering all involved and you are not giving yourself any credit . How about starting doing that for a beginning : ))) !!!!

Fiss,
What great advice!
Weren't we all here just about 12 hours ago??????? :roll:

Hey Fiss, thank you. I have to admit, even after talking with you all here plus the doctor, I'm still kind of alarmed, but I guess that's just my nature. Not quite as panicky as last night though :)
Good to hear that your outside hemmy went away on its own... My wife had a pretty big one after childbirth too (even though it was a C-section) and that actually went away over several weeks and left behind a little skin tag. Hopefully I follow the same trajectory. I've already got one skin tag on the left side, now it needs a matching friend on the right side lol.
I think the fissure has taken away a lot of the things I used to do to relax. Sometimes it was a beer after work, which I can't have anymore. Other times it was snowboarding (during winter), or mountain biking or riding my motorcycle (during summer), none of which I've done since the fissure either :( If I can get the fissure taken care of, that will be one huge thing out of the way so I can focus on other things. I'm saving the Valium withdrawal for last because I know that one is going to be the toughest. I've quit cigarettes before (took me two tries and was pretty tough) and also quit caffeine (that one was waaaay harder than the cigarettes actually) but benzodiazepine withdrawal is something else...
But you're right, each day seems to be a tiny bit better than the last LIS wise, so hopefully that continues. There's still pain after a BM but I'm getting to the point where I think I can drive a car again pretty soon, which would be awesome :)

Cheryl yeap LMAO - some people just are night awls LOL and it has some drawbacks but also some advantages LOL ; )) !!! Somehow I feel my days have more than 24 hours if I stay up till 2 am LMAO I was always a "night" person - mornings I am "groggy" and not pleasant to be around
NG - yes, you see, hemmies are not that bad either - some do misbehave - but you do not have that happening KTW
Now - I have 2 small tags 12 and 6 - not a big deal to have at all . Only when my butt gets irritated they get tiny bit bigger but they are like a small "safety alarm" - if I see that I know it is time to put some Vaseline or A+D cream to calm things down ; )) !!!
Regarding Valium - I think you will not have any problems - nicotine is as addictive as heroine and if you did that one - than just relax about Valium. Did you have to get off it before ??? :roll: If not - than please do not assume it hard LOL How much you take a day and for how long ? You know there are other "zapens" that are less addictive (if at all) and can give you calm - if that is why you take them at this point :roll: .
You can definitely have some Cannabis without all of those side effects . And you know - why not try half a glass of beer ? If anybody I am really like an Amish here on the forum and smack anybody who has a fissure and drinks - but "drinking" is one thing (having a 6 pack or 3 shots) but half of glass of beer would give you small buzz, vit B and other Vit. and minerals - you have my blessing for half a glass LOL BUT NOT MORE (for now) ; ))) !
OK - now I see that "action" is what calms you down - most man are like that - it is just genetic thing. Can "imagining" doing it help ??? I am not joking LOL - if you can "get into the zone" your adrenaline will go up and endorphins too !!!!!! How about WII games ??? I mean - I am really completely against "gaming" but just to "buy time" ; ))) !!!! I know when I tried some at my friends home I really got into it LMAO - was mentally completely into it - my heart racing and all LOL
Yes - you will be able to drive next week !!!!! It will give you such an elation !!!!!! I felt like I was flying , although I HATE driving - just the fact I could drive made me sooooo happy and I felt so "lucky" LMAO and blessed LOL - hey - you know - many people go from this world never learning that lesson and it is very important one for our karma ; ))) !!!!

Hey Fiss, I take about 2.5 mg to 4 mg of Valium a day. Been like that for nearly a year now. My primary care doctor gave me some Klonopin before but that was even more addictive, and made my memory terrible, although it was indeed better at reducing anxiety. I actually did try to come off benzos before. That was before I knew they were real habit forming, and I took the quitting process way too casually. I went into major withdrawal and it took nearly a day of thinking I was going crazy (felt like I had the flu, wanted to jump out of my skin, and couldn't concentrate on anything) to figure out it was benzo withdrawal :( Since then I've left "the beast" untouched and figure I will just circle back around to tackling it when the time is right. I'm only on a low dose but I searched around and there are tons of people with problems even at very low doses. I think it's a very individual thing. Since my personal demon is anxiety, I am prone to benzo problems. Now, I've taken many opiate painkillers in my life and have never had a problem with those, but have some friends who are really hooked on them. So it all depends on the person.
You know, it's funny, I actually used to drink a lot of beer and smoke quite a bit of cannabis. The cannabis actually really helped my IBS and indigestion problems, and I never felt much anxiety when I did it regularly. I actually attribute a lot of why I was able to control my OCD to it (100% honest, no joking here). When I was on college, my OCD was actually very, very severe, nearly crippling. It was so bad my girlfriend had to go to class for me, and I spent hours each day obsessing about really tiny things like a letter "T" in my class notes (I would re-trace letters in my notes for hours on end for no good reason, like my mind was stuck in a loop). Then I discovered the beauty of "Puff the Magic Dragon." I'll never understand why it's illegal, but that's a topic for a different forum... Funny thing is, I stopped drinking and smoking (the two kind of go hand in hand for me) and never had any problem doing so. For those things I can just turn the switch on and off whenever I want, it's the legal stuff like benzos, coffee, and nicotine that gets me :)
Yeah I think guys get release from adrenaline. When I had a bad day, I used to get on my motorcycle and go take a spin and it would all feel better :) I'm also a big sports car junkie and loooove driving. Actually when I was working in Europe, driving cars was probably the single thing I missed the most lol. Everyone loved the train and cars were generally small with very little power, big difference there (until I got to the autobahn of course which was nice) compared to here.
Hey hey now watch the video gaming comments :) I love video games, and that's exactly what I've been doing to kill time after LIS. I own all the game consoles (PS3, XBOX360, Wii) and have a ton of games. I used to play a lot more, but stopped once life got busy, and this last week I've been able to catch up on some games, yay! I'd take snowboarding and motorcycles over video games any day of the week, but it's definitely nice to have some quiet time to play games like I used to as a kid.
Anyhow so ok now you know my life story haha. I just checked on Mr. Bump, and it's actually a little bit tender now, but I think that's just because I've been sitting on it all day or it's irritated from a BM. Or maybe my mind is messing with me because the doc said to keep an eye out for tenderness, who knows.
Now sure how we started with an anal bump and got to drug addiction and video games and cannabis, but there you have it

Hey buddy - I think you will do just fine !!! You got off benzos before, you will again, but just go slowly - quarter of a pill down for a week or so !!!! You are on very small dose but for a long period and why risking a panic attack or something like that . I think that doctors really suck with explaining how to use benzos and ADs and pain killers also and that is why poor patients than run into those problems :(
It is absolutely logical that you can get off some substances easy and off some with more effort. We have so many different receptors in our brain and depending of of which kind you have more in your brain and which of them are more ready to adhere easily to certain meds or substances, you might have more or less problems with each.
Now - why is Cannabis illegal is pure politics and pharma monopoly and such - has nothing to do with how it can help with sooooo many things and at once , as you saw it yourself !!! It is absolutely inhumane that such a "derivative" is not extracted and used as a prescription !!!!!! But it can not be patented and no money would be made - so there we go - people are prescribed much worse meds with a ton of side-effects and no help and that is somehow a OK ???? ( I am waiting for "feds" to knock on my door any moment now LMAO )
BUT - you live in CA and you can get it legally :roll: . I never tried any of the drugs but I made a decision long time ago that if standard medicine does not help me or any of my family members I will turn to alternative medicine and as well as to use of "grasses" if that was proven to help LOL !!!! Just never drive with that fresh in your system - I know you know that LOL
Ha ha, hey, regarding "games" - I suggested it ; ))), so there is no "bad comments" there lol - I just do not like when young HEALTHY people spend days and days and days sitting home and not socializing and doing sports but have ONLY games in their life. You are NOT even close to that !!!!!!!!! So - yes, anything that will take your mind off your problems as a "total" even for an hour will help your mind to calm down and little by little you will see that that ONE hour has cumulative effect and will help tremendously !!!!
If you love fast driving - you will be able to drive in a week or so : ))) !!!!! How about going to those "fast treks" here in our area. I know that some people go to race their cars !!!! And by winter you will be ready for that snow - I have no doubt about that !!!!
Oh, and regarding the "bumpy" - of course it is tender - that does not count !!!!!!! Your whole butt will be tender for couple of weeks now - absolutely normal aftermath after some " scalpel" kung-fo handiwork there man ; ))) !!!! It is VERY sensitive area - or you forgot about that fact
Happy Healing

Don't get me started on the cannabis thing, it's actually a huge pet peeve of mine :) I studied biochemistry in undergrad (took a bunch of pharm and physio classes as electives) and got a graduate degree afterward, work a decent job, hit all of society's goals, blah blah blah and so forth, and was only able to do most of it because it allowed me to put away my crippling anxiety disorder... The stuff is golden in my book, and I didn't become a bum and start committing crimes in the process. It's like anything else, use it to excess and it will destroy you, but in moderation it's not any different than so many other things that society is perfectly okay with. It always cracks me up that drinking alcohol like there's no tomorrow is okay at virtually every holiday party, company dinner, etc., but smoking a little weed gets you dirty looks Anyway, enough about that, suffice to say, I definitely support decriminalizing it and regulating it like any other psychoactive substance, e.g., have age limits, don't let people drive on it, and for goodness sake, explore some of its medicinal value!!! We have that one measure on the ballot this Fall and you can guess which way I'm voting :)
Anyhow, yeah, about those race tracks, lol... I've spent a pretty penny at them in the past I've spent more than reasonable on cars, track time, tires, brakes, etc. haha. Make that *way more* than reasonable. There are nice tracks all over California (unfortunately or fortunately depending how you look at it), and every time you bring your car to one you can kiss between $500 to $2000 goodbye. It's fun but then you look back in sheer amazement at the amount of cash you've burnt through and think "wow!". I sold all of my cars except one when I found out kids were on the way, though, and ended up just keeping my motorcycle -- it's 90% of the fun of track racing at about 1% of the cost!
Man all of this stuff seems like it was so long ago, but it was only a little over a year ago. Hopefully "tender bump phase" is one more step along the road to reclaiming the glory that only comes with a fully healed anus