Woundedspirit,

Yes, skin was flapped from above the fissure and stitched down. I have no idea what was done to the donor site... No one has told me that. I just presumed it had been left open.
I did have a bit of stenosis, because my bms seem alot wider than they were pre op. maybe that's why I have torn open again? Yes, the less invasive option sounds good, as that was exactly my own crs's opinion, but it has not worked out and left me in an even worse state, with an even bigger fissure that now stretches down out of the anal canal.
When are you booked for surgery???


This morning has been a bad one. Very painful. The fissure feels like someone has poured lemon juice into it. Sting is an understatement.
It will be 4 weeks tomorrow since my surgery, and I just feel like things are getting worse rather than better. I will be sending mr w an email today.... Although he didn't reply to my last one.
Feeling very sorry for myself today.

I have not been scheduled yet. My dr. says I need to be ready and I will know when I am ready. My last visit was 4 months ago. I keep stalling. I heal to a certain point then the scar tissue prevents proper stretching and something has to give and of course it is at the the weakest point of the fissure and I always re-tear. They tell me it will never heal without this surgery so I can't stall forever.

I am thinking perhaps it is a good thing for you that the BM's seem wider. Maybe now that the fissure is "freshened up" and the scar tissue is gone, given enough time it will be able to heal all the way now. At least that is what I am hoping for myself.

And you go ahead and feel just as sorry for yourself as you need to today. I think a little self compassion is not all bad. You seem like a very kind person and feel sorry for those here who are suffering so a little for ourselves is okay. :) Of all human maladies, this is one of the worst. I have my times, like the other night, but I am getting better at not getting stuck there. This forum helps me a lot and I am thankful for the caring people in this online community.

Pain makes me teary and is easily followed by despair so I try to fight in on all fronts whatever it takes. Sorry for the long post. Just my feeble attempt at sending you some encouragement. Sending a big hug and loads of healing thoughts.

I'm trying to send some good thoughts your way, owmybum.
Hugs and comfort to you, sweetie.
Hope it gets better - SOON

Sorry to hear you are in so much pain. I don't understand how you have a visible wound on the outside now since he pulled the flap from the other direction... I know it doesn't mean much when you're in pain and sad, but I am thinking about you and hoping that you get some relief.

Hi OMB,
I'm sorry you feel worse. It's understandable! You need a break! I'm sending you my healing wishes and I know you'll get an answer one way or another.... Xxxx

owmybum I am so sorry you are in such pain xxxxxxxxx

I just wondered (though might be something you don't want to think about now) but did Mr. W suggest dilation, as Suzy's surgeon did? I expect you have read through all her posts as to her healing procedure.

Thinking of you, and loads of huge hugs!!!!!!!

Woundedspirit.... It's not a feeble attempt at all... I get great encouragement and comfort from your words... Thankyou so much xx

Scientist... You're a sweetheart xxx

Rachael... Thankyou for all your support... It really helps enormously xxxx

Asdf..... The fissure had the flap pulled down over it, but it has torn further down, longer, stretching outside the anal opening.... Coming out from the bottom of the flap. If you look at suzys chart, at pic A , it looks like a bit of the fissure is poking out the bottom of the flap....... Well this has torn even further down on me.... It's hard to explain, I hope you get what I mean!! Thanks for your kind words, it means alot, especially as you are going through your own hell.

Ps woundedspirit... I know you read this before bed so.... Night night....sleep well... God bless!

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm so sorry things have gotten worse and you're in such pain!! Maybe you can snap a picture of your poor bum and send it to your doctor. That might inspire some compassion and get him to reply! I'm sending you hugs and hope for a better day tomorrow!!

Lol. Good night Owmybum. :)