Dear diary, That Gareth is so cool and kind in spirit. I'm glad to have a pal like that. I wish him the very best on his birthday and thank him again for seeing me through my surgery. He was there when I needed him. I hope someone is always there for him...

Now YOU are making me cry, Kim. You guys are precious!

Dear Diary,
I have 5 yes 5 bms today, and today is the best day I have had in a long time......go figure

make it 6....all good ones too

Dear Diary....
I am so thankful that you brought me through that Camp without having me reinjure my fissure. After changing diapers of disabled children of all ages and taking care of them, feeding, clothing, bathing, etc. them, I have learnt so much about life. These kids had basically no ability to understand life, to do things for themselves, to speak or learn (although perhaps they could have that potential one day if their families really tried)... They were like vegetables, but children... like little baby minds that were in the bodies of older children... Yet it melted my heart to just be around them, feel their innocence, and absorb in the love they would give. I was overjoyed when one of them began to recognize me and would smilee, bringing her hand out slowly to hold mine. I didn't even know she could do that. She was 16 and would smile and make cooing noises when I looked at her (she couldn't speak and was mentally and physically handicapped).
I've learnt so much about BMs in general and have grown to be much more thankful after this entire experience. Sure, a fissure can be a pain in the butt (worn out intended pun), but at least God has blessed me with the ability to see strength and colour and life... And feel love and warmth and grace... And be absorbed in just infinite and amazing beauty... We take all of this for granted and become absorbed in our own pains without realizing the struggles of others.. This whole world is in pain.. Yes.. But at least we, as compared to some other individuals, actually have the opportunity to override that pain and still realize the beauty there is to life... The beauty there is in every single thing, in every single moment, in every single creature and living or even non living being..
What a funny world we live in. And isn't it amazing how much pain can teach and guide us? I'll always remember those kids next time I'm in pain, and I'll remember their innocent little smiles that really bewildered me. They were such beautiful, precious children. I am so lucky... We are all so lucky... I hope we all can really realize that..... :(
Im really sorry if anyone here is not a believer in God but I am so please don't be offended by me pasting this. It just really encorporates my mood at this point.
"My chains are gone, I’ve been set free
My God, my Saviour, Has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending Love, Amazing Grace"'