patty - when you say the pain is "minimal and manageble" what exactly does that mean?? i've been dealing with this for so long that i get all mixed up as to what i should consider an acceptable way of life.
i'm still debating going back to see the CRS who wanted to do botox and a full exam, but i'm so scared she'll mess something up and i'll be worse off than i am now - and right now my daily pain is pretty minimal. i don't want to go for "perfectly painfree" and have a procedure set me back.

Juney,
What I mean is that when I have a BM it hurts a very little as long as the BM is not big. It hurts only during that and then when I am done I have no pain or spasms. I remember I would not leave the house after a BM because I was so scared I would start to have spasms an hour later. Now the other day I had a looser BM the second time and I had that good ole burn butt hence my name. I had to go to work to my second job and got stuck in a white out on the way to work. I stopped at a local gas station to wait for the snow to let up and I got out my handy heating pad and plugged it in to my car ( thanks to buttgirls suggestion on getting the adapter) After about 15mins my pain was gone. If that had been last summer I would of freaked out because the pain was more intense and I had spasms. I can now handle situations better because my butt pain is a lot less than last year. I just want a comletely pain free BM. I had had them a couple of times. But I want some consistencey. I hope I answered you question. I tend to ramble sometimes LOL
Patty

no, you didn't ramble! thanks for the answer. it helps for me to hear what other people's daily experiences are like, that way i guess i can gauge what my own is like. i actually have pain-free BMs (the pain during BM was actually only a problem in the first few months of my fissure), then sometimes i have the tiniest burn after, and only a teeny fraction of the discomfort for the rest of the day whiel i'm sitting at work (i used to have this sharp pain everytime i stood up after being seated, now i barely have that pain). i guess all around, it's more of a slight discomfort than a pain now.
so i guess i'm doing pretty good. but i'm totally relying on MOM so that continues to worry me. i don't think i'll ever go a day without it. it's like i can feel that the fissure is there, but b/c my poo is so soft everyday it doesn't cause the pain and irritation it used to for the rest of the day afterward. i'm hoping this will enable it to completely heal eventually. ok now i'm rambling a bit...hehe.

juney just curious, how long does it take for the MOM to work for you? Sometimes I take it and it works in a few hours and other times it takes almost 12 or more hours. In the last few days the pain has come back. Sometimes it's burning pain, sometimes spasms, and almost always after a BM my anus is so tight that I can barely get a finger up there to apply any creams. I'm assuming that it's so tight after a BM b/c it's going into spasm although it doesn't feel like a true spasm but one Dr told me the buring pain is actually the spasm so who know? Perphas its b/c I decided to treat my single self to some chocolates and chips on V-day which made the BM harder and larger than usual but boy of boy has the pain come back and I am so discouraged. It only last for 4-7hours now but I just want to cry!

Erin, I am so sorry that you are in a pain again : (. You really have to watch what you eat in this period when you are trying to heal. One hard poop can undo months of hard work and dieting : (((. It is also strange that Botox didn't kick in yet ????? !!!!! If you are having spasms your fissure has small chance to heal. Could it be that your CRS gave you too small dose of Botox or that he missed the muscle while administering it. When Botox works your sphincter is supposed to relax so much that you almost have trouble controlling gas !
All the best

i take the MOM at night (usually at 10pm) and then go right when i wake up in the morning (around 7am). i usually drink some warm water to get things moving. i've never tried taking it during the day, so i'm not sure how long it would take to kick in.
i had what feels like a little setback this morning, after a weekend of not watching my diet and drinking too much alcohol. even though i took the MOM as usual last night, there was some stinging and a pinching feeling during BM today. there's a little more pain in the area now than i've had for the last few weeks, but nothing compared to what i used to feel. i'm still wondering if botox might be good for me, but i'm totally paranoid to see anyone about it. i don't want anyone touching me down there at all.

oh also, erin, i can barely get a finger up there too. i was trying to put neosporin inside for awhile, but it is so tight, i had a hard time even getting my index finger in. i'm not sure if that's indicative of spasms or if some people are just plain tighter assed than others. haha

Sorry to hear about the setback. I bet after a few days back on the wagon you are going to feel much better. I had some chocolate too. I figured it was going to hurt anyway so what the h*ll.

The tightness is VERY common for all AF sufferers, and indeed may even be the cause in some people's cases!

I agree with all of you , LOL. There was no way I could have put any suppository in it unless I would shave it to half size. Sometimes I was sure it went in just to stand up and have it projected out !!!! maybe we can make "Ass Olympics " !!! Although I wouldn't be as successful now that I had LIS : (((.