I'm having issues again. Bristol 4 giving me some serious pain lasting up to 8 hours. Hot baths only aggravating things. Confused, at one point some months ago I've already passed this.

What confuses me is that I had less pain like 1-2 months ago when the fissure/fistula groove was much bigger

My nightmare begins again. CRS again destroyed me badly. I made the mistake to go to a routine checkup, just to make sure everything is OK before the holidays. Of course he insisted again on the massage and I must've gotten into some sort of Stockholm syndrome, cause for some reason I didn't oppose as firmly as I should've. Like getting out of the room.

The result was much worse than I expected, blood and muscle so tense that I could barely eliminate stool, although soft. Pain afterwards is excruciating, I estimate that I dropped back at least 6 months. Nothing helps, gel, baths, 4 painkillers so far. I just sent the worst curse text messages to my CRS in the middle of the night. I'm thinking malpraxis, battery, hire a hitman, request botox for free. Or just put an end to my miserable life.

To make it even more puzzling my fissure is only 2-3 mm long, so this pain is unexplainable. Fistula is healed at least.

My holidays are ruined.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

Igrik, LIS is an option, but I thought I could heal this naturally, if it wasn't my CRS ripping me every other month. I only have like 2-3mm left, I'm still optimistic.

How naughty must I've been to get pain in the ass for Christmas? I'm pretty sure I have a serious re-tear this time. 2 weeks after the checkeup with only one stool every 4 days Bristol 5-7 (thank to stool softener pills) I still found blood on the stool. Pain is long lasting, waking me up at night. Laxatives I took last evening are so strong that they gave me a watery stool this morning also, messing my fissure up again. Pain is much lower with watery stool though, more like in the discomfort zone.

I also geared myself up with an electric pillow, it does provide relief and an alternative to baths, unfortunately it turns off every 90 minutes so I still wake up in pain to restart it. Still better than sleeping in the bath tub.

Rectogesic is also on its way, so I'm hoping that would give a boost in healing this thing. I will also restart Manuka, it worked wonders on me.

I can't help dwelling in the series of mistakes my CRS made:

- he rushed into the cauterization, altough the ointments did work in lowering pain levels
- he cauterized the entire fissure rather than just the edges. This doubled the pain levels from 4-5 to 9 and increased pain duration from about 2h to 8-9h sometimes more. Overall I feel cauterization gave me a sensitivity in the area, otherwise I can't explain these long lasting pain levels on a rather small fissure
- he applied botox after the cauterization, rather than waiting for the botox to take effect first
- he then performed a 2nd smaller cauterization to eliminate some scar tissue, not sure how necessary this was
- he kept re-tearing the fissure

That's it, time to look for another CRS or rather do nothing and let the fissure heal on its own.

I'm having one of the worst episodes ever. I had severe diahrreea on Jan 1st, the good thing is that it was so smooth on the fissure. However after 5-6 stools I started to feel the fissure so I had to take imodium to stop it. It only stopped after the 3rd pill.

Then of course I got constipated and did something foulish not going to the toilet for 5 days. Then yesterday I had a massive Bristol 3.5-4, followed by a 6. Didn't get much pain right then, but couple of hours later spasm started.

My Rectogesic just came in, so I tried that out for the very first time. It worked almost instantly, but it only lasted for about 2 hours so I woke up in the middle of the night to re-apply. As the pain was more intense, it didn't help much. I applied for a total of 3 times than gave up. What never failed to "work" however was the headache, like my eyeballs wanting to pop out.

So another bullshit ointment that only works for mild spasm, only that is ten times more expensive. Payed EUR 89 for a 30g tube.

The strange thing is that I'm not feeling much pain on the fissure site itself, so I'm not sure what keeps the spasm going, for over 13h this time. This was one of the longest lasting episodes. In the second half I had no fissure pain at all, but I somehow felt the external sphincter muscle spasming on the opposite side of the fissure actually.

The only thing that worked last night was the bath tub, not even the electric pillow.

Bottom line is I still need to keep my stool soft and avoid such foolishly long brakes between stools.

Any idea what else can cause spasm? I'm just afraid I will be left with this sensitivity to hard stools for the rest of my life. It all started with the stupid cauterization, I don't know if it touched some nerve or something.

I'm starting to think it is perhaps stenosis and every time the muscle is streched it responds back by spasming. Is that even possible? If so then indeed the only option is to cut that bastard.

What I noticed is that my stools are half the size in diameter compared to my 3 year old daughter's and she has no problem passing them.