Oh and I only lost ten pounds! It was a struggle to keep the weight on though, and clearly have lost lots of muscle and gained a little chub instead lol.

I'm scared of shorts season, I lost so much muscle in my thighs I now have loosy goosy skin there and it's not flattering lol...ah well at least I can poop without crying now!

MPB YEAH! that's 140pound combined weight loss! I should talk to my literary agent and send out a query letter for sure. This might just work...Something like " Simple weight loss guide- All you need is a Lump in the Rump and a Cut in the Butt" haha I have yet to try red meat, I was okay with it before but have not had the courage yet. I am off the lactose forever that's for sure. I will only have a chocolate milkshake in my dreams. This fissure experience gave me nightmares, really weird. So happy after 18 months you are facing normalcy again. Let me know if when you have internal hems what it feels like? I was told they can be higher up and pull on the tailbone muscles. the surgeon said I have 2. That's all he saw with the anoscopy exam. And even if you do everything right can take 6 months to get back to normal. Some descriptions are a full feeling, or constant or varied feeling like you need to go or pass gas. Seems like a few things cause very similar symptoms.

GG I think the protein shake will help, once all is settled down more I think you will find the perfect balance will come it just takes awhile. Remember tho it doesn't have to be all that perfect -when I stressed over getting it just right I think I made it worse. It's pretty good now for the most part. Let me know how the muscle relaxants work. I am trying cramp bark essential oil mixed with peppermint lavender and franken sense basil and marjoram. (external not internal on soles of feet pressure points) and the diosomin slow but working. Less invasive to my slow old aging system ! lol I think when I had my c section they took out my intestines and put them back in inside out!! haha. Counting the days with prayers that we will be well and even better off than before we even started here!! hugs to us..

Thanks mamafizz.

Not sure the muscle relaxant is doing anything because I tried to do some shopping today and had to go home because I'm having spasms again. Feeling very much like before my surgery. I think that maybe I only felt better since I didn't go for so long post op, now I'm back to goinbf daily the pain has returned.

Feeling so so down. I just want to be 100%. If I'm still having spasms and burning pain, to me that's an indication that the surgery maybe didn't help as much as I thought.

I can't live halfway like this anymore - I'm glad it's better than before but a taste of normal life is not good enough, i need to be totally normal again so I can be happy and move on.

What a disappointment. I don't know what's wrong with me, I have no fissure anymore or pain during bm, the surgeon had no more suggestions for me, I just feel like this is it, as good as it's going to get

Hi GG so sorry to hear your still experiencing pain.
All I can say is at least it's better than before surgery you managed to do quite a bit of your fitness and you have been getting out and about too.
You may get a lot more relief when you go to your wellness clinic.
But if you don't. Please don't let it get you down. I still have days where I have full on spasms due to multiple BMs but the next day when they are gone I get up and carry on at work with my children at uni and swimming. My normal will never be what it was before my crohns and maybe it helps that my normal has been pretty different since my IBS.
I doubt that this will stay your normal Hun I really do. But you have come so far from when you couldn't go out and couldn't exercise so don't lose hope.
I can honestly say that if you had asked me two years ago whether I would give up everything dairy for anything I would have laughed...now I know I can never touch it again and that's okk. We adapt and overcome you are so strong whatever your normal ends up at I know you will embrace it x
MF would love to see what spin they could put on it to make it sound appealing
I'm lucky I don't get nightmares but I don't think I will ever have a bath again as it brings back some awfully traumatic memories....don't worry I have a shower so won't be too smelly

Thanks mbp. I'm hoping the colorectal specialists will have some better idea of why I'm spasming. I've said before, I think the spasms came before the fissure. Right now I'm aching from the front of my pelvis to my tailbone and I've had a bath, lay down, etc. I still wonder if I pulled something lifting that is aggravated when I'm standing, causing all the tightness. Maybe I should try a different physio to get a second opinion. I think it's clear now that this isn't totally fissure related.

Yes Hun that might be a thought. You were very active beforehand so it's a distinct possibility that it all could have stemmed from an injury and the fissures were a symptom and not the cause. At least at the clinic you will have lots of specialists in one place.

Hey GG, I'm checking in after a while. I think a good pelvic floor physio could really turn things around for you. There are many trigger points they can work on that will release muscles that are tight and spasming. One exercise that I do is simply lie down with a tennis ball under one butt, more towards the hip, find a tense point and stay with it until it loosens. Then on to the next one. You can try this leaning against a wall if it's too painful.

Yes mbp- we really should put a guide out there with a humorous light to it.. my nightmares are gone lol and I am in same boat as you no no no dairy ever again!

GG- honestly I too have to keep reflecting back to worse times to assess improvement- the medical profession can only do so much with their treatments. I came to this conclusion. These muscles have become tight and short and thick the botox and Lis have relaxed the IS to the degree of fissure healing, The specialist I told you about explained this...It can take 2 to 6 months for the muscles to fizzle out. Brain has to unlearn the pain...ok brain catch on already!

P&H have you noticed much relief from these exercises? How long do you apply pressure and how soon did you notice improvement?